m'cube utk b'diri kembali

akuh tau bkn sng,
tp akuh kne cube..

honestly..
akuh xtau pe yg akuh rse snanyew,
xtipu,
tgk sme bnd rse saket,
tp it's crystal clear bkn 2 yg akuh nk..kn?
tp still rse saket..
hm..
but i'll try 2 get over it nway..

i curse a lot lately,
i know it's not a gud thing 2 do,
i'm not proud of it,
sumtyms it juz feels gud when u do it y'know?
ma eldest tegor..
die ckp kalo istighfar i'll feel mucccccch more better,
n yeah..she's rite..
i'm trying ma very besh 2 get rid of dat nu bad habit,
kwn2..
tlg eh? =(

i'm addicted 2 sumthin since last month,
4 real!
i thot it juz...i dunno..
but 4 real..i'm addicted 2 it!
y?
again..i dunno..
i'm so worry if dat addiction will drag me 2 sum other thing..
dat even worse..
shud i blame sum1 bcuz of it?
mayb i shudn't..kn?
salah sndri kot..
ntah..
but sure de cure kn?
kwn2..
tlg eh? =(

in ma condition rite now sumtyms i can't think wisely,
sumtyms i can't even think!
i feel so distracted..
mayb i shud stop driving 4 a while cuz lately byk kali dh nk accident..
Gosh!
wut is wrong wif me?!!
is it dat bad?
hm..

2 ppl out there..
dis is wut u get when u let ur heart wins!
bullshit kn? (allowed me 2 do it 4 d'last tym)

i'm trying 2 pick up d'pieces..
i'm trying 2 move on..
i'm trying 2 gain all ma strenghts..
i'm trying 2 get over ma weakness..

dear all fwenS of mine..
y'know dat i'm phethatically weak rite?
help me up..
i need u guys on dis..
i really do..


::SuhadanuaR::

lesson dat i've learnt.

Dear fwen,
1st of all i would like 2 apolagize if afta all dis while i didn't realize wut kind of mistake i did 2u,
D'other day i sat n talked wif close fwen of mine,
Few topics came out from dat conversation,
One of it was about 'saying no' 2 ppl,
Thru ma observation n ma personal experience,
Certain thing it's better 4 us 2 say no dlm keadaan yg xsiyes,
4 example;joking,
it doesnt mean kte make fun of dat thing,
it's juz dat kte xmau create an awkward c2ation o feelin afta talking about dat stuff,
but dat fwen of mine told me sumthin dat i juz know,
bkn sume bnd leh wt cm 2,
especially 2 a guy..

he was given me dis one analogy;
There's a married couple.D'wife really3 wanna have kids.But d'husband really3 dun wanna have kids.at d'early marriage mmg both of them agree not 2 have kids.But afta few years d'wife asked,"Sayang..let's have kids nk?"n d'husband joking psl dat kids issue 2 distract d'wife.Wut would d'wife feel?Dia sgt3 nk have babies n sgt3 b'sedia+siyes ke arah e2,tp her hubby cm men2.it's a siyes matter n u make fun of it?Isn't it suppose 2 sound sumthin like,"Sayang..I'm sowi but i really dun want kids." When u dun want then said u dun want.So d'wife will get d'exact point yg her husband mmg xmau kids.It might feel bad 4 d'wife in any ways pon sbb d'answer is still no but by choosing d'straight 2 d'point way d'wife will catch d'point easily n it shows dat her husband take dat matter siyesly.

In short,
In anythin yg u rse siyes matter n required siyes answer,
Jwb straight!
Joking bout it is totally not d'beSh thing 2 do,
I've learnt ma lesson..

n hey,
if..
if wut i did 2 u previously hurting u,
if dat wut makes wut now,
i'm truly sowi,
we never had a siyes discussion bout dis,
but I do have ma own reasons y it's a no,
i do..

::SuhadanuaR::

we can't do everythin n have everythin..

Lately I've been thinking about what I can do
I've been stressing to fall back in love with you
I'm so sorry that I couldn't follow through
But I can't go on this way
I've got to stop it babe
You've been wonderful in all that you can be
But it hurts when you say that you understand me
So believe me
I am sorry..
I wanted you to be there when I fall
I wanted you to see me through it all
I wanted you to be the one I loved
I wanted you..
I wanted you to hold me in my sleep
I wanted you to show me what I need
I wanted you to know just how down deep
I wanted you..
I've been pushing hard to open up the door
Trying to take us back to where we were before
But I'm done
I just can't do this anymore
'Cuz we can't be mended
So let's stop pretending now
We've been walking around in circles for some time
And I think we should head for the finish line
So believe me
I am sorry..
I have to leave
But I'll always remember how we came close
To being how I wanted to be..

*kisah sempurna..

::SuhadanuaR::

terima kasih atas segalanya..

Maafkan aku
Telahku lukakan hatimu cintaku
Ingin benar ku memahami dirimu
Agar dapat selalu senyum di wajahmu
Betapa sungguh ku inginkan
Belaian senantiasa kau berikan ku
Merasa kehangatan cintamu
Namun,
Segalanya tak semudah yang diharapkan,
Sayunya tiap kali kau katakan ku yang kau mahu
Bebanannya ku tak mampu
Aku bukan seperti yang dikau perlu
Mungkin dia yang terbaik untuk dirimu
Maafkan aku..

::SuhadanuaR::

Karangan February 14,

February 14 yg sgt terisi;

Pendahuluan;
x pk sgt pon psl it was a V dayh.i feel more like "it's a dayh afta a month n hopin 4 thgs gettin better".but seems like it's gettin uglier?i dunno.wuteva it is,it wasnt a gud start of d'dayh.i had a lil talk o argument o wuteva it should b called wif sum1.at 1st igt xmau bring out dis issue sbb i'm so concern if die rse swabot sbb leh d'katekn evytym sembg mesti issue nih kua.but dat nyte tbe2 issue nih t'cetus lik.n bcuz of dat i let all d'6W1H yg slame nih i keep it 2 masef out!urm..bkn sng nk gain all d'strenght.i know by saying all dat i might lose.again.but nk cmni smpai ble?yup,akuh bkn p'nyabar sgt.i can b one n always b one.but in dis case,i dun think i could.everythin bout dat conversation kinda affect ma whole dayh..

Isi-Isi Penting;

(1)I slept at 2 plus2.I woke up at 830.plan 4 d'dayh nk g survey vanue 4 dinner sumwhere in s.alam.mentally dh mmg penat sbb penat.physically pnat sbb xckup rest.d'nyte b4 pon lack of sleep gk.but pk keje,so m'gagahkn dri gk ah.me+mia+ijat+areyol started our hunting at 10 tepat(bak kate ijat) dan 3 menet.huhu!from concord 2 bluewave 2 sheraton n 2 holiday inn.pnat mmg pnat.menapak gn heels 2inchi spgjg ari kot?huk3!but it was such an awesome experience.get 2 know d'real world of meeting ppl+improving ma pr n management skills.it's all about learning.awesome!well,it was a valentine's dayh.so all d'decos in every hotels dat we entered sme nyew pinky2 n got booth yg jual teddy n chocs.nice~n 4 of us seb baek pkai formal n bring all d'files n dslr cam.kalo x,de gk ah nmpk cm kitorg nk check in sbb we all came in pairs n it was valentine.huhu~ *so 4 those yg plan 2 check in,dress up ah formal2 sket n bwk ah briefcase ke file2 ke..bru owg x pk pe2..ngee~ (kiddin lor!)

(2)I dunno it's bcuz of d'tense o wut yg wt kn nafsu mkn akuh m'buak3!hahahaha!!!Agak m'bakar duet dan menambah lemak gk ah kn utk stu ari nih.4 breakfast mkn nasik lemak kt uma ijat.4 lunch at 3 mkn ciken sandwich kt bbq ciken kt sunway.mmg sgt sdp n sgt kenyang tahap dewa.environment die pon besh.kitorg dok kt valentine's section.nmpk cm kitorg wt double date ah lak.waitress kt c2 siap tny agi npe x order valentine's set.aduhai..sy dan areyol bkn b'same ah cik waitress,tp owg len 2 sy xtau ah..hok3~(uik,de yg senyum sowg2 nmpk? =p ) utk sesi 9mlm,mkn woti canai sardin kt maple.n utk sesi 1pg mkn charkuey teow lak.gumok3!huk3.


(3)afta mkn 2 bdn dh maken mls n kaki dh maken saket.plan nk tgk muvee kt gsc.tp makhluk2 d'c2 jumlah nyew sgt lah m'nyepoil kn mood nk tgk muvee.so sbb mls ngat nk tgu,kitorg pon g ah cineplex kt d'curve.pon wmai owg tp x s'wmai gsc sunway ah.mia gn ijat sgt wajen mau b'diri dan beratur,so 'new in town' m'jd pilihan.we met kimi n his gf norein there.so kami nmpk mcm triple dates ah lak.huk3!n tym ngah tgk muvee 2 akuh wt bnd yg sgt ntah pe2.TIDO!aduih,pnat sgt kot.cte 2 xde ah busan sgt.tp mayb sbb pnat sgt kot.3 kali t'lelap.rse t'bakar gk ah 10hengget 2.huk3~

(4)e2 ari mmg most ppl m'zahirkn kaseh sayang mereka.all d' bouquet of roses..boxes of chocolates..sweet n fancy V dayh cards..candle lite dinner..including all d'huggies n kishy..em,bahagie nyew mereke2 e2 kn? =] kn owg kate V dayh nih snanyew sempena kemenangan christian jatohkn Islam n stuff kn?so cm xbaek gle ah if clbrt.tp ntah ah.bkn clbrt atas dasar kemenangan 2 pon.gle pe?cm last year wajen gk ah jmpe dak2 nih ckp"weyh,hepih valentine's dayh!" cm sajew ckp,ske2.tp dis year cm dh xde ati nk ckp2 cm 2. kt spe2 pon..urm..twok sgt ke ek dat damage?hm..

(5)nway,february 14 nih ari kegembiraan owg len~dlm perasaan xtentu nih,honestly sgt hepih tgk die bahgie.hey u,tlg ah twos m'bahagie kn pelangi sayeh yg dumil eni k?n pesanan dr penaja,kalo spe2 kt luar 2 nk bli pape utk spe2 sbg cth roses o cokelat,silelah twos bli.xyah ah tny owg 2 nk ke x.it suppose 2 b a surprise,isnt it?aduih~huk3!kebahagian t'sebut b'larutan smpai kol2pg.sonok nyew perasaan t'sebut~huhu!akuh siyesly dh pnat n gntok n pnat.huk3!tp utk kebahagiaan kwn2 sgup ku korban kn mse rehatku.icecece~ngee..

Penutup;
14 february yg sgt3 t'isi.dr kol10 tepat dan 3 menet smpai kol2pg.sonok 2 sonok.sonok wt keje.sonok jln2.sonok tgk owg len sonok.sonok gelak3.tp,ati snanyew xsonok ngat kot.nk kate kosong sgt,x gk.mayb ruang 2 x fully filled kot.kn?mayb sbb de kisah yg lum sempurna kot.ntah.gelak 2 gelak gk.mayb sbb nk lawan perasaan len 2 kot.hm.b'doa yg t'baek utk sume pihak..jum doa sme2 k?






::SuhadanuaR::

bigB wif roast coffee~

09Feb2009
1234pm
MCD dataran pahlawan,

"one plate of bigB n one large cup of roast coffee(2 creamer+2 sugar) =] "

wink3~
ari nih wt bnd merepek sket,
mia msg lastnyte ajak g breakfast mcd,
sounds great!
sbb cm tringin ngat nk mkn bigB,
smlm tym msk2 kt uma ijatMia =p
he showed us dis one risalah ckp mcd xde kne mengene gn israel n wutso eva.
so..yey~
ngee~

at 1st ajenie gn anis xmau juin,
so usehe m'mujuk d'lakukan,
cm akuh ckp b4 dis..it's almost over,
so akuh cm nk spend as much tym as possible gn dowg,
n at last anis+ajenie ikot!
yey again~
ngee~

now kt mcd dataran,
td g mcd ayer keroh but sne xleh on9,
2 yg dtg cni,
hok3~
mia+syera+anis+ajenie ngah on9.
n me?
i'm writing dis down on ma tiny notebook yg salu dok semak dlm handbag nih,
(hey3..i found ur handwritin in it =p )
huhu~
urm..really wish 6 of us could b ere but hetti xde,
she went home 2 get sum rest afta havin a in small surgery last few days,
get well soon eh pelangi sayeh? =]

perasaan ari nih cm..undescribable..hepih pon de sbb dpt kuar lpk2 gn dak2 nih,cm nk senyum sowg2 pon de sbb lastnyte de dis one person ckp..hehe..lalalla~ ngee~ =p cm cdey+sayu pon de sbb i kept on denying 2 masef on how i felt all dis while..hm..i've 2 do so..i guess.. =(

::SuhadanuaR::

It's Almost Over

As I’m sitting all by masef at d’end of ma loft, I start 2 realize sumthin..It’s almost over.It’s already February 7^th 2009.i’m counting d’dayh 2 ma graduation dayh. InsyaAllah by dis April technically I’ll be finished ma diploma. Wow..feels like I juz turned 18 n within few weeks I’m turning 21? Seems like I stay in Malacca for almost 3 yrs! Urm..everythin juz happened in a blink, aren’t they?

I could feel d’difference wif dis semester. I only have class on Thursday n Friday. I kinda mish 2 get up early in d’morning 2 go 2 class. I mish 2 make masef a mug of Nescafe o Vico o anything as ma breakfast. I mish 2 rush 2 class cuz I get up late. I mish 2 attend ‘3 hours straight boring class’ everyday. I mish ma kecoh2 classmates! All d’yelling n screaming n d’annoying2 thingy..huhu! but Gosh, I mish all of dat! In short, I mish d’chaos of ma life as a student. I know I’m gonna hate it when I’m in d’middle of it but when it isn’t there, only God knows how much i mish 2 b part of it, again..

X semestinyew stu bnd yg kte ske 2 bnd2 len yg jd dlm die kte ske..tol x? Honestly, I luv being d’assistant of classrep. I luv all d’managing2 stuff dat going in it. D’experience of assisting arm 4 one sem n another 3 sems wif areyol was great! I know sumtyms I get a lil bossy..huhu! but I’m juz doing ma job, kn class?huk3~ yg plg ssh ble nk dpt cooperation from all d’classmates. Hanye Tuhan jew ah yg tau betape azab nyew. Esp when it cums 2 mintak duet. Sensitive issue, isn’t it? Len owg len prangai len kehendak len keinginan. Ssh nk ikot pale sume owg. Sumtyms I need 2 use inappropriate tones 2 ‘earn’ a decision. Aduhai classmates ku..sowi ek if de yg trase ati? But afta all d’difficulties n stuff, we all managed 2 earn few sweet moments 4 our class, aren’t we? =] remember sagil? N then Seoul’s Garden? Then PD trip! Xkre agi fescomm n activity2 len. Such an awesome experience! Thanx a lot guys~ really appreciate it =]

Talking bout d’course dat I’m taking rite now, d’decision 2 choose masscom is bcuz of ma mom. B4 dat I was still searching 4 d’path of life dat can suit me..suit ma interest. N of cos bkn science stream. Tolak m3x gopeng for masscom. Well, mayb dh takdir, mama met dis one person tym ngah wt haji wic was a yr b4 I need 2 fill in ma upu form. Dat person is also in masscom line. She told mama all about her job n right away mama rse ‘dis is d’path dat suit ma daughter!’ So, here I am =] n insyaAllah I’ll becoming a one successful PR. Doakan eh? =]

I’ll never regret 2 b here in Uitm Malacca Campus. New place new life. Rse nyew if x studi cni cm xkan knal melake kot..huhu! N thanx a lot 2 mia sbb she’s responsible 2 bring me into ‘tour 2 Melaka’ 4 d’past 2 n a half yrs. Die gk ah yg b’tgjwb m’introduce ‘dunia’ overnyte 2 me.ngee~ it was fun mia. So much fun =] another thing, fyi..mia is a fwenship cupid! Huhu! I called her so cuz I became close 2 anis+syera+hetti+ajenie let juz say b’cuz of her. Bak kate syera, “kitorg m’besar dlm kete mia”. When she decided 2 bring all of us jln2, tym 2 kitorg sume get 2 know each other n getting closer. Menarik kn? Terima kasih damia =]

Let’s juz say all ma fwens adalah antara reason y I could survive til 2day. Life isn’t dat easy, y’know dat rite? Mcm2 bnd kne face, mcm2 sonok rse, mcm2 saket kne trime, n at d’end kwn2 ah yg de gn kte. I can’t imagine ma life without them. Ble gado gn bf pon mbr yg kte cri. Ble gado gn mbr pon mbr gk yg kte cri. So there’s no xcuse npe idop kte nih xperlu de kwn. Rite? Dlm tempoh 2 taon lbey blaja kt melake nih, I wasn’t juz learn about COM361 o JRN221 o PRO231 semate2. I learn about life. Kwn2 yg byk teach me bout life. Whether it’s a gud thing 2 learn o not, whether it’s in a gud way of learning o not, they are lessons 2 b learn. We’r big enuf 2 decide wut’s gud n wut’s not 4 our lives. Byk sgt nk mention pe yg I’ve learn spjg kt melake nih n from who I learn. U guys know who u r, wut hav u done 2 me as well as 2 ma life whether in a gud way o not. D’process of learning must b harmful but it could b o will b useful 4 us in get thru dis challenges life in d’future. Terima kaseh kawan2 ku atas sume2 nyew =]

*I realize dat I have one great journey of life dat I want 2 share it wif sum1 special. But 4 now, I haven’t found him yet. Or he hasn’t found me? Urm..some said d’dayh will come. So marilah kte tunggu,ok?ngee~

::SuhadanuaR::

ma 1st cheese cake?ngee~

mlm nih de slumber party,
mereka2 yg akan juin is me+arnish+mia+syera+hetti+ajenie,
sume owg kne bwk fud,
sajew ske2 xde keje,
ngee~
n i plan 2 bake a cheese cake yg akuh blaja from ma aunt,
i'm so bad at cooking apetah agi baking,
b4 dis wt gn k.long,
kre nyew de yg m'bantu ah,
dis tym wt sowg2,
so enih ah hasil nyew,
bentuk fizikal sgt3 scary seperti yg t'tera,
hahaha!!!
k.long soh ma fwens yg nk mkn cake nih 2 get their insuran nyawe,
scary x?scary x?
hahahaha!!!
actually dis cake suppose 2 b golden yellow,
tp...err..hehe~
utk rse die kte kne tgu abes slumber party bru leh kumen,
hohoho~
wish me luck then =]


::SuhadanuaR::

sayang n jodoh?

do u guys believe in jodoh?
kowg rse jodoh 2 juz happen o we need 2 earn it?
as 4 me kan jodoh 2 mcm rezki,
yup..rezki 2 Allah yg bg,
tp if kte x useha rezki 2 xkan dtg bute2 kt kte,
tol x?

same goes 2 jodoh,
mayb u n him rse2 cm meant 2 b 2gether,
even afta few years things happened,
afta all d'maki2 stuff n all d'ignorance,
tbe2 jew bnd jd,
2 kte pgl jodoh ke?

o u guys being fwens since 4 eva,
ssh sng sme2,
he lends u shoulder of his whenever u need it,
he provides u 'shelter' like u never had b4,
he borrows u his ears so dat u never felt alone,
tp xpnah t'lintas pon yg he's actually d'one 4u,
tbe2 jew bnd jd,
e2 jodoh ke?

tp jodoh 2 is sumthin else,
another thing yg penting is SAYANG,
sayang liaise 2 hati,
cm kte tau ble ckp psl bnd2 yg melibatkn ati nih ssh,
tp kowg tau x yg sayang 2 no matter how deep it is ia akan ilang if kowg xjage..
yup..it's a fact,
n sayang 2 mmg xleh pakse tp die leh d'pupuk..

juz imagine kowg de sum1 yg mayb kowg rse u both meant 2 b 2gther,
but there's lack of efforts in maintaining o enhancing d'sayang,
n at d'end dun b surprise if sayang 2 pudar..
same goes 2 sayang yg d'pupuk,
dr xde lgsg mayb leh jd greater than eva if kne cara kne gaya,
kan?

another thing psl tanggungjawab+rse sayang n kemahuan+rse sayang,
rse2 if kte de dlm dis one c2ation yg kte kne deal wif both dis,
which one would b d'choice of ours?
ssh kn ble harus memilih?
hm..

thus,
2 u guys outthere yg tgh in luv ke o yg tgh searching ke o yg tgh b'usaha ke,
all d'beSh 2 all of u,
yg de dpn mate 2 appreciate die slagi mampu,
yg ngah m'cari 2 pilih yg btol2 yg can suit u,
igt..dun b wif sum1 only bcuz u'r alone,
u'll hurting ursef including him,
yg ngah b'usaha 2 lak..do ur very beSh,
show all ur concern n stuff,
show them how much u want them,
show them how much important they're 2 u,
but ble dh dpt nti jgn benti b'usaha sbb..
SAYANG n JODOH 2 r 2 things dat required lots of effort 2 earn them =]


::SuhadanuaR::