two.o.one.o

i'm wondering;
wif everythin dat i'd been thru along dis year of 2009,
will i b able 2 survive on 2010?

well..we'll see.
cuz lessons learn.. =]

as i've been told;
i'm a lot stronger than i think i am.
so..we'll see about dat.. ;]

people keep on mentioning about new 'azam' n everythin.
as 4 me..i juz want 2 b a better me in every ways.

i have a great family!
i have awesome fwens!
i'm on ma way 2 become sum1 dat i love 2 b d'most;PR!
so..ma life should b great rite?
i should b thankful 4 dat.

but ma love life?
so far not as pretty as i hope i would b..huhu~
but dis year i'm planning on focusing only on ma studies.
i screwed up big tym!
i mean both ma studies n ma love life.
so i think it's better 4 me 2 commit only wif one of them.

i'm not give it up.
it's juz dat i need a break.
let d'wounds cure 1st b4 i get d'new one..huhu~

some said dat "miracle happens when we least expected."
some said dat "love happens when we least expected."
which means love equals 2 miracle.
so let's juz wait 4 d'miracle 2 happen k? =]

d'other day there's sum1 said sumthin dat makes ma self-esteem going straight 2 d'drain!
but d'truth is ugly..isn't it?
there's a lot of 'muhasabah diri' dat i need 2 do.
i used 2 read dis one article about motivational n stuff.
it says;
"dun b lazy 2 change if dat changes are good 4 u."
so..let's do some 'modification' 2 dis Suhadanuar..k? =]

HAPPY NEW YEAR everyone~
May Allah brings more n more joys n blesses 2 our lives~


::SuhadanuaR::

d'game of ma life.

frankly..there's some part of ma life dat i don't really get it.

i'm not really sure d'pattern of d 'game' dat Allah puts me in.

i wish i know but i really don't.

is He putting ma capabilities on a test?

cuz when it comes 2 certain capability of mine i bet He already knows me well.

or is He trying 2 expand dat particular capability?

ya Allah..i really don't know..


Dear God,
may i request 4 a lifesaver rite now?
cuz i'm scared 2 death dat i might drown in dat deep blue ocean.
i really am.


::SuhadanuaR::

a little appreciation.

"do learn how 2 appreciate those around u cuz u'll never knew dat u might lose them,again."

ble kte cube suara kn pe yg kte rse, owg kate kte MENGUNGKIT. tp ble kte diam, owg tend 2 do sesuke hati sampai kte yg mkn ati,AGAIN. slagi leh b'tahan mayb kte akan cube b'tahan. SABAR. dat's d'key of everythin.

but d'truth is, we r juz human being wif feelings n emotions n limitations. kte cube utk phm n b'sabar dgn certain owg or condition. tp kte sendri xleh nk predict sampai ble or sampai mane tahap kesabaran yg kte ade. ble kte dh xmampu utk b'tahan,kdg2 kte t'pakse blah. eventhough dis thing keep going on n on, i mean d'part when we left n come back,we left again then come back again,but at one point who knew we might COMPLETELY LEAVING n never came back? n mane tau 'pemergian' kte 2 bkn bwh kawalan kte sendiri? mati is obviously luar kawalan kte. but what bout Allah uses his power to give us FULL STRENGHT TO LEAVE? do u think dat's impossible?

Allah 2 Maha Hebat. benda yg kte rse xmungkin jd leh jd, n benda yg mungkin jd leh xjd. kte manusia nih juz hamba Dia yg diturunkan kt muka bumi nih utk beribadat n obey 2 Him. n whether we realize or not, each n every1 of us diberi SATU TANGGUNGJAWAB utk kte lakukan besides beribadat. have u recognized urs? i've already recognized mine. siyesly i do. dat's y i'm trying ma very besh to hang tough cuz who am i 2 refuse d'TASK dat given 2 me by Him.kn? even i think i'm not strong enuf 4 dis kind of responsibility, but hey..He knew me better, isn't He? dat's y when everytym i pray, i say dat i redha wif wuteva task He sign me in, but wut i wish is dat atleast He gives me a little bit of strenght n guidance 4 me 2 carry dis responsibility.

in doing anythin, kte kdg2 xmintak ape2 balasan pon especially when it comes 2 fwenship. but how pleasant a fwenship would b if a little appreciation is there by atleast not hurting us as their fwen if they can't put d'smile on our face or make us happy. is dat 2 much 2 ask? i know it's difficult n impossible 2 satisfy every single fwens dat we have, but if owg 2 leh try phm u n understand u, y not u try 2 do d'same? esp those yg struggle 2 stay wif u cuz they know how much u need them whenever u want them 2 b.

it takes two 2 tango. but when one of them is off tune, the dancing would b a disaster. but if both of d'dancers learn 2 understand each other rhythm, d'dancing would slowly improve..

::SuhadanuaR::

a better plan

Mengapa kita mengharap teman sehebat Saidina Ali,
Jika diri tak semulia Fatimah Az-Zahra.
Tak perlu mencari teman sehebat Sulaiman,
Jika diri tak secantik Balkis.
Mengapa mengharap teman sekacak Yusuf,
Jika kasih tak setulus Zulaika.
Tak perlu mencari teman seteguh Ibrahim,
Jika diri tak sekuat Hajar.
Mengapa didamba teman sesempurna Muhammd,
Jika diri tak sehebat Siti Khadijah.
Bimbinglah dirinya dan terimalah kekurangan itu sebagai satu keunikan,
Carilah kebaikan pada dirinya,
Bersyukurlah kerana dipertemukan dengannya.

Adakala kita tertanya2..
Setiap apa yg berlaku apakah hikmah yg turut serta?
Kadangkala kita sendiri keliru dengan setiap dugaan yg d'terima,
Apakah agenda yg t'sembunyi d'sebaliknya?
Namun hanya satu yg kita harus yakin dan percaya..
Allah Taala merancang yg terbaik utk setiap hamba-Nya..

dh lupe rase bercinta [ii]

perlu ke ade si dia juz nk wt kowg rse lik all those feelings?

perlu ke ade si dia juz 2 make sure dat kowg x rse lonely dh?

a fwen of mine once said 2 me;
"single is simple couple create troubles"

but as 4 me;
kowg single ke kowg couple ke still de prob masing2..kn?
yg beza nye..
ble kowg couple kowg nk kne pk psl 2 hati.
ble kowg single kowg juz need 2 pk psl ati kowg jew..tp..yeke?
wut if dat prob involve owg len gk?
xkn kowg still pk ati kowg jew kot kn?
prob 2..prob.. ;]

a good fwen of mine once told me dat;
if kowg single prob yg kowg ade is loneliness.
n dun lie 2 urself dat dat matter doesnt bother u at all~
if kowg couple lak prob yg kowg ade obviously related 2 ur partner.
jelousy+comitment+money+misscommunication n stuff.
so mcm xde makne jew if xnk de prob xyah couple..kn?
tp if by couple contribute more pain than happiness..u know wut 2 do
(a quote from a good fwen) =]

wut i usually hear is;
"to love is to let go"

but recently i heard new one;
"to love is to haunt"

well,
it's probably sumthin like "fight utk yg t'syg"
isn't it? =]
but,

there r certain rules in dat battle which i can relate 2 dis one quote from a dear fwen of mine;
"in life juz do wuteva u wanna do as long as it cause u no harm or killing u."

so in certain cases u juz need 2 b silent.
y?

bcuz in certain thing;
"the less u mention the better"

bcuz pe yg kowg ckp o kowg confess may harm other ppl o even u ursef.

there is a saying;
"juz do wuteva u feel right"

tp,
pe yg kowg rse btol probably owg len xrse bnd yg same.
some ppl they dun give a shit pe owg len nk kate,
again,
as long as pe yg kowg wt 2 cause no pain 2 any1,
juz tutop mate n do it!
tp kdg2 rse b'salah kt diri sndri sbb wt bnd yg slh agi twok rse die dr rse b'salah kt owg len sbb kslhn yg kte wt.

konklusinye;
d'storylines of our lives have no ending.
unless u die.
so,
juz go thru wif dis unpredictable life.
d'pain..d'joy..they will never end..
it's juz us yg probably getting mature everyday..
it's juz us yg probably akan timbul rse kesedaran dlm diri 2 make things better..
a fwen of mine used 2 claim dat dr dlu smpai skrg he is completely d'same person.
but i said 2 him..no..u're not bcuz d'maturity yg change u..either 2 b better o worse.
same goes when it comes 2 love.
few years back u were probably a jerk who screwed up few tyms.
even nowadays u've tried harder 2 make things right but still has no luck,
but juz keep on trying bcuz;
"Allah sentiasa bersama orang2 yg bersabar" =]

p/s:jgn sbb stu pintu t'tutop kowg tutop pintu2 laen yg ade.( tenkiu syera ;] )


::SuhadanuaR::

dh lupe rase bercinta [i]

0945pm
10th May 2009
oldtown,bangi.

dh lupe rase ble pagi2 celik mate de msg dr yg t'syg;
"gudmorning~"

dh lupe rase ble mlm2 b4 lelap mate de msg dr si dia;
"gudnyte~"

dh lupe rase ble yg t'syg pgl;
"sayang.." "manje.." "musyuk.."

dh lupe rase ade perasaan windu yg t'amat sgt kt si dia.

dh lupe rase ble si dia btau;
"sy windu awk sgt3.."

dh lupe rase ble kalut nk b'siap n xtau pe nk pkai sbb nk jumpe yg si dia;
kdg2 g kedai2 bese jew kot..huhu~

dh lupe rase d'pujuk dan memujuk sampai all d'skills
almost gone.. =p

dh lupe rase ble every tym kuar g mane2 sure t'pk;
"nk bli ape ek utk die?

dh lupe rase sonok nk cte kt mbr2 mcm ne die wt kte rse bahagie
n lupe gk rase sedey nk cte kt mbr2 mcm ne die wt kte t'luke.

dh lupe rase gadoh2 over silly o siyes stuff.

dh lupe rase ble jeles tgk die gn pompuan len =(

dh lupe rase ble ngah hepi2 o sdey2 straight away call him;
"awk2..tau x td kn.."

dh lupe rase ble si dia kate;
"awk..sy sayang awk sgt3.."
n he mean it =]

dh lupe rase when he confess;
"u r everythin 2 me.."

dh lupe jugak rase secure in every second of life dat
u're havin sum1 like him dat can look afta u n care a lot bout u =]


dh lupe rse sume 2 sbb dh lame xrse...


::SuhadanuaR::

-berhenti- (Part II)

once akuh dh start syg,
akuh syg gn sepenuh ati..

once akuh dh start percaye,
akuh percaye gn seluruh jiwe..

once akuh dh start bkk pintu ati,
akuh bkk dgn seluas-luas nyew..

xkire lah in relationship o fwenship,
ble akuh wt sket2 akuh ssh nk rse,
mayb e2 kelemahan akuh,
n when i applied all those things akuh akan jd sgt depending,
n bnd 2 yg akan wt akuh ssh kn owg sekeliling akuh..

hmm..
any solution 4 dat? =(

::SuhadanuaR::