hati TAK berkata-kata

omg!it has been a while,isn't it? ;D

dah lame 'hati TAK berkata-kata'..hehe!

actually, there's so much stuff that i would like 2 share,

yet the aura of laziness is all over me..huhu!

but right now i feel like writing. so let's begin? ;]

1st thing 1st; CAREER TALK.

i'm on my practical training for 3 n a half month.

i'm majoring in PUBLIC RELATIONS but basically right now i'm doing almost everything, such as news writing, publishing, event management, administration thingy, n all that.

but from what i can see what i'm doing is more on JOURNALISM.

still, i'm having fun doing my internship over there! :D

the people are quite nice n fun (so far).

n it's probably less pressure compare 2 private company (mine is semi-gov),

still, i'm trying my very best 2 gain as much experience as possible ;]

but the question is;is JOURNALISM really suits me?how bout PR?can i really keep up with the chaos of the job n my family n my life?

i wonder....

2nd things of all;A LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP.

since i'm in the middle of 1 rite now it becomes one of my biggest concern.

we both are not that far far away from each other.

i'm in Bangi while he's in Seremban.

but we rarely meet because of transportation+financial+family commitments constrains.

it's quite a struggle y'know?

in any relationship especially a long distance require lots n lots n lots of TRUST!

u'll definitely failed if u lack of it!

because u only have him 2 tell u everything,whether truth or lie.

besides that, from most of my reading on this matter, they keep on mentioning on CONSTANT COMMUNICATION and VARIATION OF INTERACTION.

n 1 thing 4 sure,DON'T DON'T n DON'T EVER ASSUME!

a friend of mine once said 2 me "setan kan suke jentik hati kite."

"but we always have ALLAH on our side." :]

in everything we do let's just try our very best because ALLAH MAHA ADIL n MAHA MENGETAHUI.

if our partner or could be ourselves are doing 'something' on the side,

eventually the truth will come out, INSYALLAH.. :]

2 be honest,

me myself are still struggling 2 handle my relationship with my bf.

because; I AM A MESS!

i got few issues with myself that i MUST counter them quick!

n it's quite a challenge 4 him 2 deal with me.

so i'm so hoping that he could hang tough while i'm trying.

please eh,sayang? ;]

well,i think that's all 4 now.

or else this entry won't reach an end.hehe!

until then! ;]

::SuhadanuaR::

hey,where r u hiding all these while,eh? :]

i met dis one great guy named Raja Mohd Zuhri :]

how he makes me feel is the reason why i'm in love wif him.deeply :]

honestly, i'm worried on how things would go.

but hey,

jgn wisau ar.i kan kuat! ;]

from d'30th September until today i still feel dat dis guy is too good 2 b true.

he doesn't have everything dat i want.

but he has everything dat i need :]

d'funniest thing is we have so much things in common,
but when it comes 2 our differences, we both r far far far away from liking it..huhu..
but hey..there's always a price 2 pay, rite? ;]

i know it is still 2 soon 4 me 2 say anythin.

but i want 2 cherish every single moments dat i'm spending wif him.

i always know there will always be obstacles dat i'm going 2 face sooner or later b'cuz dat is d'rules of life rite?

but i'll do everything i could 2 make dis realtionship works. n d'rest of it, i'll leave it 2 Him 2 decide.

ya Allah, if You really makes dis guy 4 me, plz gives me strength and courage 2 face anythin dat may come. plz fill his heart wif my love n care. plz do wut's best 4 us both. plz fill our relationship wif full of bless from You b'cuz i love dis person named Raja Mohd Zuhri very very very much. n i really really really hope dat he is d'one.

Amin... :]


::SuhadanuaR::

i guess dat's it kot.thanx tau? :]

dear u,

i dunno how 2 put dis but;

...THANK YOU...

i really mean it.

i'm truly sowi if dis is how things should end.
probably dis is d'besh way 4 us both,
or maybe 4 everybody.

i know i owe u an explanation,
cuz i know dat i'm d'one who 'taught' u about JUSTIFICATION.
but i dunno how 2 voice it out,
cuz i realized dat in some cases justification would only make things worse.
so i think it's better 4 us 2 leave things dis way..

2 tell u d'truth,
'walking' on d'same 'path' r not dat fun,ok!
'singing' d'same 'love songs' also not dat interesting!
so i'm not so sure why Allah gave me dis 'opportunity'.
but i hope dat we both would learn sumthin from dis.

sometimes i wish we had more tym.
cuz d'more tym we have d'more memories we'll share.
but,
d'more memories we share d'more 'damage' it would cause.
everythin comes with a 'price tag',kan?

but it's ok.
u had given me enough :]
u had 'convinced' me dat..
there's still sum1 out there dat capable 2 make me smile juz like how i used 2!
infact,even better!
juz d'thought of u can make me smile!
how's dat? ;]

i can't believe dat i finally 'found' YOU!
juz like everythin dat i've been dreaming about all dis while!
but then..
i can't have u.. :(
cuz..
"kdg2 yg t'baek d'mata kte x semestinye t'baek utk kte.."
so,live wif dat.

dis piece of appreciation is especially 4 u.
yes,u!
i dun think dat u would realize d'existance of it.
but it's ok.
i still feel dat i'm lucky enuf 2 linger in ur life even 4 short while.
THANKS A LOT 4 THIS OPPORTUNITY :]

hey..
u r a very nice guy tau?
very nice guy.
so juz stay dat way,ok?

besh of luck wif wuteva u'll do in ur life.
halalkan everythin,k?
n do take care.

...THANK YOU SO MUCH...


::SuhadanuaR::

two.o.one.o

i'm wondering;
wif everythin dat i'd been thru along dis year of 2009,
will i b able 2 survive on 2010?

well..we'll see.
cuz lessons learn.. =]

as i've been told;
i'm a lot stronger than i think i am.
so..we'll see about dat.. ;]

people keep on mentioning about new 'azam' n everythin.
as 4 me..i juz want 2 b a better me in every ways.

i have a great family!
i have awesome fwens!
i'm on ma way 2 become sum1 dat i love 2 b d'most;PR!
so..ma life should b great rite?
i should b thankful 4 dat.

but ma love life?
so far not as pretty as i hope i would b..huhu~
but dis year i'm planning on focusing only on ma studies.
i screwed up big tym!
i mean both ma studies n ma love life.
so i think it's better 4 me 2 commit only wif one of them.

i'm not give it up.
it's juz dat i need a break.
let d'wounds cure 1st b4 i get d'new one..huhu~

some said dat "miracle happens when we least expected."
some said dat "love happens when we least expected."
which means love equals 2 miracle.
so let's juz wait 4 d'miracle 2 happen k? =]

d'other day there's sum1 said sumthin dat makes ma self-esteem going straight 2 d'drain!
but d'truth is ugly..isn't it?
there's a lot of 'muhasabah diri' dat i need 2 do.
i used 2 read dis one article about motivational n stuff.
it says;
"dun b lazy 2 change if dat changes are good 4 u."
so..let's do some 'modification' 2 dis Suhadanuar..k? =]

HAPPY NEW YEAR everyone~
May Allah brings more n more joys n blesses 2 our lives~


::SuhadanuaR::

d'game of ma life.

frankly..there's some part of ma life dat i don't really get it.

i'm not really sure d'pattern of d 'game' dat Allah puts me in.

i wish i know but i really don't.

is He putting ma capabilities on a test?

cuz when it comes 2 certain capability of mine i bet He already knows me well.

or is He trying 2 expand dat particular capability?

ya Allah..i really don't know..


Dear God,
may i request 4 a lifesaver rite now?
cuz i'm scared 2 death dat i might drown in dat deep blue ocean.
i really am.


::SuhadanuaR::

a little appreciation.

"do learn how 2 appreciate those around u cuz u'll never knew dat u might lose them,again."

ble kte cube suara kn pe yg kte rse, owg kate kte MENGUNGKIT. tp ble kte diam, owg tend 2 do sesuke hati sampai kte yg mkn ati,AGAIN. slagi leh b'tahan mayb kte akan cube b'tahan. SABAR. dat's d'key of everythin.

but d'truth is, we r juz human being wif feelings n emotions n limitations. kte cube utk phm n b'sabar dgn certain owg or condition. tp kte sendri xleh nk predict sampai ble or sampai mane tahap kesabaran yg kte ade. ble kte dh xmampu utk b'tahan,kdg2 kte t'pakse blah. eventhough dis thing keep going on n on, i mean d'part when we left n come back,we left again then come back again,but at one point who knew we might COMPLETELY LEAVING n never came back? n mane tau 'pemergian' kte 2 bkn bwh kawalan kte sendiri? mati is obviously luar kawalan kte. but what bout Allah uses his power to give us FULL STRENGHT TO LEAVE? do u think dat's impossible?

Allah 2 Maha Hebat. benda yg kte rse xmungkin jd leh jd, n benda yg mungkin jd leh xjd. kte manusia nih juz hamba Dia yg diturunkan kt muka bumi nih utk beribadat n obey 2 Him. n whether we realize or not, each n every1 of us diberi SATU TANGGUNGJAWAB utk kte lakukan besides beribadat. have u recognized urs? i've already recognized mine. siyesly i do. dat's y i'm trying ma very besh to hang tough cuz who am i 2 refuse d'TASK dat given 2 me by Him.kn? even i think i'm not strong enuf 4 dis kind of responsibility, but hey..He knew me better, isn't He? dat's y when everytym i pray, i say dat i redha wif wuteva task He sign me in, but wut i wish is dat atleast He gives me a little bit of strenght n guidance 4 me 2 carry dis responsibility.

in doing anythin, kte kdg2 xmintak ape2 balasan pon especially when it comes 2 fwenship. but how pleasant a fwenship would b if a little appreciation is there by atleast not hurting us as their fwen if they can't put d'smile on our face or make us happy. is dat 2 much 2 ask? i know it's difficult n impossible 2 satisfy every single fwens dat we have, but if owg 2 leh try phm u n understand u, y not u try 2 do d'same? esp those yg struggle 2 stay wif u cuz they know how much u need them whenever u want them 2 b.

it takes two 2 tango. but when one of them is off tune, the dancing would b a disaster. but if both of d'dancers learn 2 understand each other rhythm, d'dancing would slowly improve..

::SuhadanuaR::

a better plan

Mengapa kita mengharap teman sehebat Saidina Ali,
Jika diri tak semulia Fatimah Az-Zahra.
Tak perlu mencari teman sehebat Sulaiman,
Jika diri tak secantik Balkis.
Mengapa mengharap teman sekacak Yusuf,
Jika kasih tak setulus Zulaika.
Tak perlu mencari teman seteguh Ibrahim,
Jika diri tak sekuat Hajar.
Mengapa didamba teman sesempurna Muhammd,
Jika diri tak sehebat Siti Khadijah.
Bimbinglah dirinya dan terimalah kekurangan itu sebagai satu keunikan,
Carilah kebaikan pada dirinya,
Bersyukurlah kerana dipertemukan dengannya.

Adakala kita tertanya2..
Setiap apa yg berlaku apakah hikmah yg turut serta?
Kadangkala kita sendiri keliru dengan setiap dugaan yg d'terima,
Apakah agenda yg t'sembunyi d'sebaliknya?
Namun hanya satu yg kita harus yakin dan percaya..
Allah Taala merancang yg terbaik utk setiap hamba-Nya..