BilaHatiBerkataKata

.i.fight.in.my.own.terms.

2012-01-02T19:47:00.000+08:00

Dear 2012,

No matter what would you serve me on the plate,

I'm gonna pray hard and keep hoping that

I'm strong enough to face them all.

I'm a fighter.

I fight in my own terms.

And to all dear friends plz jgn risau k?

Sebab I kan owez kuat! ;D

.pantai.laut.ombak.angin.

2011-12-13T14:37:00.000+08:00

I need a vacation right now.

I need pantai, laut, ombak & angin sepoi2.

I want a chalet yg betol2 tepi pantai.

Pagi2 bangun boleh duduk tepi pantai.

Tgk laut..dgr ombak..rase angin.

Rase tenang je.. :]

I'm happy with my life right now.

Sooooo happy.

It's just that..hmm...

Kadang2 the more we hate something, the more we become just like it.

So pethetic isn't it?

I need some times & spaces.

I need to figure something out.

I need to figure myself out.

*konflik dalam diri*

second chance.

2011-11-25T15:22:00.002+08:00

Everybody deserve a second chance,
but not everyone gets it.

So when u got one, don't screw it!

People do make mistakes,

but they never make the same mistake twice

because the 2nd one is a choice!

So, the moment u're considering on redoing the mistake,

take a deep breath and think again,

What have u been through on ur way to reach where u are right now!!!??

When u're asking Allah for strength,

He won't give u 'the strength',

instead He'll give u the obstacles to make u stronger!

So,

When u just got ur second chance and u're about to make the same mistake for the second time, please consider urself lucky 4 realizing that Allah is 'triggering' ur strenght!

And feel free to call urself a total idiot if u fell into the 'trap', again!

::Suhadanuar::

rahsia kita berdua ;]

2011-11-20T18:19:00.001+08:00

Tiap kali awk buat saye tersenyum, saye teringin sgt nk jerit bg satu dunia tau ape benda yg awk wt kt saye sampai saye xleh berenti senyum! :D

Saye bukan nak show off, tapi just nak express betape seronok n special nye saye rase mase tu :]

Lagipon, kan blog saye ni ruang untuk hati saye berkata-kata? ;]

Tapi, bila fikir2 balik..xpelah awk. Biar ape yg jadi between both of us become our little secret, k? :]

Those yg knal saye sure tau how much I love talking psl org yg saye suke. Apetah lagi psl org yg saye sayang :]

Tapi, psl awk biarlah saye simpan sorang2 :] If sume benda psl kite saye nak share gn sume org, what's left for us, kan? ;]

Sure org akan ckp "poyo gile nak cerita2 or sorok2 psl bf ko?ko ingat org nk hadap sgt ke tau psl korg?korg igt korg retisss?" hehe.. ;p

I've watched enough n I've learnt. The more we expose ourselves or our relationship 2 d public 4 whatever reason, makin byk risiko yg kite kne hadap. Nak2 pulak bila ade juri-juri yg xbpe nk profesional baek hati nak judge psl kite n relationship kite ;]

Lain org lain personaliti. Lain org lain cara pembawakan diri. Sebab tu lain org lain cara bercinta n lain cara dia handle relationship. So, people have no right no decide how should we live our life b'cuz they ain't feel our pain, aite? ;]

Recently, I did watched this one video made by this one famous blogger. In that video, he did expressed his disapproval on some lovey-dovey-not-making-sense love songs. Something like 'akan ku redah lautan api' kinda song lahh ;p But as for me, that song is made for those who are in love. Org tgh bercinta sronok2, xkan nak dgr lagu sedih2, ye x? Org tgh mabuk2 cinta xkan nak dgr lagu psl bf/gf curang, ye x? it's killing the mood man! Mcm org tgh mkn raspberry cotton candy lah, xkan nak rase peria kot, kan? ;p

But I believe that blogger has his own point of view and reason 4 saying that. Same goes to people who are in love and decided to be in love lah. They know it's risky but they just do it anyway ;]

And sure de gak org akan ckp "Eleh..tgh syok bercinta boleh lah ckp u're my everything lah, I cannot live w/o u lah. Try tgk time gado2 or break nanti? Berbakul2 ko kutuk dia ko maki2 dia. Ye x?"

Yes, indeed. No denial ;] And missy, it's called 'enjoying the moment'. Kite ckp ape yg kite rase time tu. Dia buat kita happy, xkan nak marah2 lak? And if dia buat taik kt kite, xkan nak puji2 lak, ye x? ;] What for nak hold things back? Life is short. Selagi kite boleh rase happy, please enjoying d moment sbb kita xkan tau bila lak kite nk nangis, kan? ;]

Cuma, if kite rase kite x comfortable nak share everything with everyone even atas dasar 'expressing our feeling', cukuplah kite keep it to ourselves sbb lumrah manusia, they are very judgmental ;]

::Suhadanuar::

. Forgive & Forget . Revenge & Regret .

2011-11-10T09:54:00.000+08:00

"I'm a girl. But when screw things up, I take it like a man! But you are dude lah weyh. Don't you have a sense of responsibility towards your own mistake? C'mon lah?

Go cut your balls off lah weyh!"

Forgive & forget?

Macam xpuas je? Revenge sounds far more interesting, isn't it? But sooner or later confirm akan regret! Bukan xsampai hati. Risau benda akan jd lg meleret. Makin ramai org yg akan terheret. Infact, ASSHOLE like you buang karan je maki hamun.

Kan?

So, no need for revenge lah.

And there's a quote i read somewhere on net, saying;

Just sit back & wait.

Those who hurt you

will eventually screw up THEMSELVES!

And if you're lucky enough,

God will let you WATCH!

naisssssssss! ^ ^

I've redeemed what's mine.

2011-11-03T11:45:00.000+08:00

Disebalik segulung ijazah terungkap seribu satu cerita.

The laughters & the tears,

The happiness & the sadness,

The joy & the pain,

The lovers & the haters,

So the praises & the curses.

Obviously,the journey has never been easy.

One thing for sure, He 'gave' me all the AMAZING PEOPLE around me to keep me company during my jatoh bangun. Those people is either be there 2 support me or 2 'drag', that make me stronger than ever!

And for that, THANKSSSSS A XILLION!

And ALHAMDULILLAH, Thank You ALLAH for always always always convince me that I should NEVER EVER gave up on You.

Thank You.

wheel of life.

2011-06-11T20:13:00.005+08:00

Alhamdulillah.. :]

For the past 8 months my life could never been any happier.

I have great friends around me.

I have super awesome boyfriend by my side.

I have incredible family with me.

I went to all 3 job interviews and I got accepted to all of them! :D

It looks like the luck is on my side this time n at this moment I'm at the top of the wheel of life.

ALHAMDULILLAH :]

But let's do some reality check, shall we?

Obviously there's up n down in life.

After all the struggles that I'd been through especially for the past 3 years, the sweetness that I'm having right now is so INCREDIBLY AWESOME! :D

Somehow it's like too good to be true :]

I'm so grateful with what I have right now. Totally grateful!

But i did heard and read somewhere on this one hadith that says something like "When Allah gives us almost everything, it means He's being cruel to us because people tend to ignore Him whenever they feel too comfortable n surrounded by too many happiness."

Auchh... :( That's a wake up call from this beautiful dream I guess? Belum terambat lagi kot kan? :(

Another thing..

It's not like I'm asking for it but sometimes I wonder when would I FALL again?

Based on my previous experience with my very own life, whenever I fall I'll fall HARD.

Honestly, I can't imagine myself being in that same situation again. I really can't.

I'm afraid that the next time I'll fall I won't be able to get up anymore. Seriously.

Back then I used to do some stuff that I'm totally not proud of.

And I'm afraid that KARMA would hit me anytime soon.

Everyone knows when 'SHE' hits u, she'll hit u HARD cause KARMA is a real Y'KNOW WHAT!

I'm not so sure whether I've prepared myself to fall again or not. I don't know.

I wish I don't have to go through the same phase of life anymore.

But hey, we're talking about the REALITY OF LIFE here, aren't we?

Sooner or later THE REALITY would stop by and says hello.

And during that time it's obvious that the wheel of life has turn upside down and I would no longer be at the top of it I guess. Auchhh... :(

I definitely can't avoid it to happen but all i can do is to 'STAY ALIVE'.

I hope during that moment Allah would give THE MOST POWERFUL STRENGTH He could ever gave me for me to be able to survive all the difficulties and hurdles, AGAIN.

I know that I'm not that good enough as His servant to ask for things like that :(

But I'm still hoping that Allah would hear my pray.

I'm still struggling to be a good servant of Him. Long way to go but I'm still trying.

For now I'll try my best to cherish every single things that's happening in my life right now and just be prepared mentally+emotionally+physically on what may come afterwards.

With everything that I have right now, I hope I can find the balance in them.

::SuhadanuaR::

changes is good if it's a good change.

2011-02-19T15:44:00.005+08:00

a girl is just being a girl when she concerns too much on 'benda2 remeh',

meanwhile, a guy is just being a guy when he ignores the 'remeh-temeh' stuff.

and the mixture of both situations would lead 2 a perfect battlefield if both parties or enough 4 just 1 side 2 do some 'exaggeration' on that matter.

2 avoid the 'exaggeration', a person must be perfectly stable, emotionally.

anger management plays crucial role in this particular situation.

n of course it is not an easy thing 2 do, but it's worth trying 4 the sake of ur relationship.

i always said this to my friends;

"pemahaman n penerimaan are 2 different things"

sometimes u really understand the fact of the things that happen but it's a little difficult 4 u 2 accept because it could be against ur principle n stuff.

but 2 make a relationship works, tolerance is required.

so 2 stop the madness, take some times 2 cool down.

really.

as much times as u need.

excuse urself from ur partner so that u won't spit words that shouldn't be spitted.

use the time wisely 2 reduce the anger.

talk 2 ur friends.

or if they are not available, go Google some facts on men and women.

why?

because facts would bring u back 2 ur senses.

and it would make u realize both of u are just being who we are.

a man n a woman.

a guy n a girl.

we are just human being that never slipped from doing mistakes.

but we must learn from every single mistakes that we did.

we need a lot of guidances and practices in order 2 become a better person n a better partner.

n life is all about learning process.

but sometimes i wonder,

when we are compromising or do some tolerance in our relationship,

does that mean we are not being who we are?

because in doing that we need 2 sacrifice some of our principles or norms or wutever.

we need 2 change!??

but when i think again all of the process is 4 the sake of making each other comfortable n happy.

changes is good if it's a good change.

n 1 thing 4 sure, nobody's perfect!

they are is who they are.

but b4 u wanna go out there n look 4 somebody perfect,

feel please 2 spend some times analyzing the 'perfection' in urself.

savvy? ;]

p/s;all the talking is from observation, reading, experiences, n stories.i'm here 2 share n learn.

::Suhadanuar::

hati TAK berkata-kata

2011-02-19T01:48:00.005+08:00

omg!it has been a while,isn't it? ;D

dah lame 'hati TAK berkata-kata'..hehe!

actually, there's so much stuff that i would like 2 share,

yet the aura of laziness is all over me..huhu!

but right now i feel like writing. so let's begin? ;]

1st thing 1st; CAREER TALK.

i'm on my practical training for 3 n a half month.

i'm majoring in PUBLIC RELATIONS but basically right now i'm doing almost everything, such as news writing, publishing, event management, administration thingy, n all that.

but from what i can see what i'm doing is more on JOURNALISM.

still, i'm having fun doing my internship over there! :D

the people are quite nice n fun (so far).

n it's probably less pressure compare 2 private company (mine is semi-gov),

still, i'm trying my very best 2 gain as much experience as possible ;]

but the question is;is JOURNALISM really suits me?how bout PR?can i really keep up with the chaos of the job n my family n my life?

i wonder....

2nd things of all;A LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP.

since i'm in the middle of 1 rite now it becomes one of my biggest concern.

we both are not that far far away from each other.

i'm in Bangi while he's in Seremban.

but we rarely meet because of transportation+financial+family commitments constrains.

it's quite a struggle y'know?

in any relationship especially a long distance require lots n lots n lots of TRUST!

u'll definitely failed if u lack of it!

because u only have him 2 tell u everything,whether truth or lie.

besides that, from most of my reading on this matter, they keep on mentioning on CONSTANT COMMUNICATION and VARIATION OF INTERACTION.

n 1 thing 4 sure,DON'T DON'T n DON'T EVER ASSUME!

a friend of mine once said 2 me "setan kan suke jentik hati kite."

"but we always have ALLAH on our side." :]

in everything we do let's just try our very best because ALLAH MAHA ADIL n MAHA MENGETAHUI.

if our partner or could be ourselves are doing 'something' on the side,

eventually the truth will come out, INSYALLAH.. :]

2 be honest,

me myself are still struggling 2 handle my relationship with my bf.

because; I AM A MESS!

i got few issues with myself that i MUST counter them quick!

n it's quite a challenge 4 him 2 deal with me.

so i'm so hoping that he could hang tough while i'm trying.

please eh,sayang? ;]

well,i think that's all 4 now.

or else this entry won't reach an end.hehe!

until then! ;]

::SuhadanuaR::

hey,where r u hiding all these while,eh? :]

2010-11-04T12:34:00.003+08:00

i met dis one great guy named Raja Mohd Zuhri :]

how he makes me feel is the reason why i'm in love wif him.deeply :]

honestly, i'm worried on how things would go.

but hey,

jgn wisau ar.i kan kuat! ;]

from d'30th September until today i still feel dat dis guy is too good 2 b true.

he doesn't have everything dat i want.

but he has everything dat i need :]

d'funniest thing is we have so much things in common,
but when it comes 2 our differences, we both r far far far away from liking it..huhu..
but hey..there's always a price 2 pay, rite? ;]

i know it is still 2 soon 4 me 2 say anythin.

but i want 2 cherish every single moments dat i'm spending wif him.

i always know there will always be obstacles dat i'm going 2 face sooner or later b'cuz dat is d'rules of life rite?

but i'll do everything i could 2 make dis realtionship works. n d'rest of it, i'll leave it 2 Him 2 decide.

ya Allah, if You really makes dis guy 4 me, plz gives me strength and courage 2 face anythin dat may come. plz fill his heart wif my love n care. plz do wut's best 4 us both. plz fill our relationship wif full of bless from You b'cuz i love dis person named Raja Mohd Zuhri very very very much. n i really really really hope dat he is d'one.

Amin... :]

::SuhadanuaR::

i guess dat's it kot.thanx tau? :]

2010-04-26T02:54:00.002+08:00

dear u,

i dunno how 2 put dis but;

...THANK YOU...

i really mean it.

i'm truly sowi if dis is how things should end.
probably dis is d'besh way 4 us both,
or maybe 4 everybody.

i know i owe u an explanation,
cuz i know dat i'm d'one who 'taught' u about JUSTIFICATION.
but i dunno how 2 voice it out,
cuz i realized dat in some cases justification would only make things worse.
so i think it's better 4 us 2 leave things dis way..

2 tell u d'truth,
'walking' on d'same 'path' r not dat fun,ok!
'singing' d'same 'love songs' also not dat interesting!
so i'm not so sure why Allah gave me dis 'opportunity'.
but i hope dat we both would learn sumthin from dis.

sometimes i wish we had more tym.
cuz d'more tym we have d'more memories we'll share.
but,
d'more memories we share d'more 'damage' it would cause.
everythin comes with a 'price tag',kan?

but it's ok.
u had given me enough :]
u had 'convinced' me dat..
there's still sum1 out there dat capable 2 make me smile juz like how i used 2!
infact,even better!
juz d'thought of u can make me smile!
how's dat? ;]

i can't believe dat i finally 'found' YOU!
juz like everythin dat i've been dreaming about all dis while!
but then..
i can't have u.. :(
cuz..
"kdg2 yg t'baek d'mata kte x semestinye t'baek utk kte.."
so,live wif dat.

dis piece of appreciation is especially 4 u.
yes,u!
i dun think dat u would realize d'existance of it.
but it's ok.
i still feel dat i'm lucky enuf 2 linger in ur life even 4 short while.
THANKS A LOT 4 THIS OPPORTUNITY :]

hey..
u r a very nice guy tau?
very nice guy.
so juz stay dat way,ok?

besh of luck wif wuteva u'll do in ur life.
halalkan everythin,k?
n do take care.

...THANK YOU SO MUCH...

::SuhadanuaR::

two.o.one.o

2009-12-31T20:49:00.002+08:00

i'm wondering;
wif everythin dat i'd been thru along dis year of 2009,
will i b able 2 survive on 2010?

well..we'll see.
cuz lessons learn.. =]

as i've been told;
i'm a lot stronger than i think i am.
so..we'll see about dat.. ;]

people keep on mentioning about new 'azam' n everythin.
as 4 me..i juz want 2 b a better me in every ways.

i have a great family!
i have awesome fwens!
i'm on ma way 2 become sum1 dat i love 2 b d'most;PR!
so..ma life should b great rite?
i should b thankful 4 dat.

but ma love life?
so far not as pretty as i hope i would b..huhu~
but dis year i'm planning on focusing only on ma studies.
i screwed up big tym!
i mean both ma studies n ma love life.
so i think it's better 4 me 2 commit only wif one of them.

i'm not give it up.
it's juz dat i need a break.
let d'wounds cure 1st b4 i get d'new one..huhu~

some said dat "miracle happens when we least expected."
some said dat "love happens when we least expected."
which means love equals 2 miracle.
so let's juz wait 4 d'miracle 2 happen k? =]

d'other day there's sum1 said sumthin dat makes ma self-esteem going straight 2 d'drain!
but d'truth is ugly..isn't it?
there's a lot of 'muhasabah diri' dat i need 2 do.
i used 2 read dis one article about motivational n stuff.
it says;
"dun b lazy 2 change if dat changes are good 4 u."
so..let's do some 'modification' 2 dis Suhadanuar..k? =]

HAPPY NEW YEAR everyone~
May Allah brings more n more joys n blesses 2 our lives~

::SuhadanuaR::

d'game of ma life.

2009-12-03T19:55:00.002+08:00

frankly..there's some part of ma life dat i don't really get it.

i'm not really sure d'pattern of d 'game' dat Allah puts me in.

i wish i know but i really don't.

is He putting ma capabilities on a test?

cuz when it comes 2 certain capability of mine i bet He already knows me well.

or is He trying 2 expand dat particular capability?

ya Allah..i really don't know..

Dear God,
may i request 4 a lifesaver rite now?
cuz i'm scared 2 death dat i might drown in dat deep blue ocean.
i really am.

::SuhadanuaR::

a little appreciation.

2009-11-27T23:21:00.003+08:00

"do learn how 2 appreciate those around u cuz u'll never knew dat u might lose them,again."

ble kte cube suara kn pe yg kte rse, owg kate kte MENGUNGKIT. tp ble kte diam, owg tend 2 do sesuke hati sampai kte yg mkn ati,AGAIN. slagi leh b'tahan mayb kte akan cube b'tahan. SABAR. dat's d'key of everythin.

but d'truth is, we r juz human being wif feelings n emotions n limitations. kte cube utk phm n b'sabar dgn certain owg or condition. tp kte sendri xleh nk predict sampai ble or sampai mane tahap kesabaran yg kte ade. ble kte dh xmampu utk b'tahan,kdg2 kte t'pakse blah. eventhough dis thing keep going on n on, i mean d'part when we left n come back,we left again then come back again,but at one point who knew we might COMPLETELY LEAVING n never came back? n mane tau 'pemergian' kte 2 bkn bwh kawalan kte sendiri? mati is obviously luar kawalan kte. but what bout Allah uses his power to give us FULL STRENGHT TO LEAVE? do u think dat's impossible?

Allah 2 Maha Hebat. benda yg kte rse xmungkin jd leh jd, n benda yg mungkin jd leh xjd. kte manusia nih juz hamba Dia yg diturunkan kt muka bumi nih utk beribadat n obey 2 Him. n whether we realize or not, each n every1 of us diberi SATU TANGGUNGJAWAB utk kte lakukan besides beribadat. have u recognized urs? i've already recognized mine. siyesly i do. dat's y i'm trying ma very besh to hang tough cuz who am i 2 refuse d'TASK dat given 2 me by Him.kn? even i think i'm not strong enuf 4 dis kind of responsibility, but hey..He knew me better, isn't He? dat's y when everytym i pray, i say dat i redha wif wuteva task He sign me in, but wut i wish is dat atleast He gives me a little bit of strenght n guidance 4 me 2 carry dis responsibility.

in doing anythin, kte kdg2 xmintak ape2 balasan pon especially when it comes 2 fwenship. but how pleasant a fwenship would b if a little appreciation is there by atleast not hurting us as their fwen if they can't put d'smile on our face or make us happy. is dat 2 much 2 ask? i know it's difficult n impossible 2 satisfy every single fwens dat we have, but if owg 2 leh try phm u n understand u, y not u try 2 do d'same? esp those yg struggle 2 stay wif u cuz they know how much u need them whenever u want them 2 b.

it takes two 2 tango. but when one of them is off tune, the dancing would b a disaster. but if both of d'dancers learn 2 understand each other rhythm, d'dancing would slowly improve..

::SuhadanuaR::

a better plan

2009-07-12T10:08:00.005+08:00

Mengapa kita mengharap teman sehebat Saidina Ali,
Jika diri tak semulia Fatimah Az-Zahra.
Tak perlu mencari teman sehebat Sulaiman,
Jika diri tak secantik Balkis.
Mengapa mengharap teman sekacak Yusuf,
Jika kasih tak setulus Zulaika.
Tak perlu mencari teman seteguh Ibrahim,
Jika diri tak sekuat Hajar.
Mengapa didamba teman sesempurna Muhammd,
Jika diri tak sehebat Siti Khadijah.
Bimbinglah dirinya dan terimalah kekurangan itu sebagai satu keunikan,
Carilah kebaikan pada dirinya,
Bersyukurlah kerana dipertemukan dengannya.

Adakala kita tertanya2..
Setiap apa yg berlaku apakah hikmah yg turut serta?
Kadangkala kita sendiri keliru dengan setiap dugaan yg d'terima,
Apakah agenda yg t'sembunyi d'sebaliknya?
Namun hanya satu yg kita harus yakin dan percaya..
Allah Taala merancang yg terbaik utk setiap hamba-Nya..

dh lupe rase bercinta [ii]

2009-05-26T00:31:00.004+08:00

perlu ke ade si dia juz nk wt kowg rse lik all those feelings?

perlu ke ade si dia juz 2 make sure dat kowg x rse lonely dh?

a fwen of mine once said 2 me;
"single is simple couple create troubles"

but as 4 me;
kowg single ke kowg couple ke still de prob masing2..kn?
yg beza nye..
ble kowg couple kowg nk kne pk psl 2 hati.
ble kowg single kowg juz need 2 pk psl ati kowg jew..tp..yeke?
wut if dat prob involve owg len gk?
xkn kowg still pk ati kowg jew kot kn?
prob 2..prob.. ;]

a good fwen of mine once told me dat;
if kowg single prob yg kowg ade is loneliness.
n dun lie 2 urself dat dat matter doesnt bother u at all~
if kowg couple lak prob yg kowg ade obviously related 2 ur partner.
jelousy+comitment+money+misscommunication n stuff.
so mcm xde makne jew if xnk de prob xyah couple..kn?
tp if by couple contribute more pain than happiness..u know wut 2 do
(a quote from a good fwen) =]

wut i usually hear is;
"to love is to let go"

but recently i heard new one;
"to love is to haunt"

well,
it's probably sumthin like "fight utk yg t'syg"
isn't it? =]
but,

there r certain rules in dat battle which i can relate 2 dis one quote from a dear fwen of mine;
"in life juz do wuteva u wanna do as long as it cause u no harm or killing u."

so in certain cases u juz need 2 b silent.
y?

bcuz in certain thing;
"the less u mention the better"

bcuz pe yg kowg ckp o kowg confess may harm other ppl o even u ursef.

there is a saying;
"juz do wuteva u feel right"

tp,
pe yg kowg rse btol probably owg len xrse bnd yg same.
some ppl they dun give a shit pe owg len nk kate,
again,
as long as pe yg kowg wt 2 cause no pain 2 any1,
juz tutop mate n do it!
tp kdg2 rse b'salah kt diri sndri sbb wt bnd yg slh agi twok rse die dr rse b'salah kt owg len sbb kslhn yg kte wt.

konklusinye;
d'storylines of our lives have no ending.
unless u die.
so,
juz go thru wif dis unpredictable life.
d'pain..d'joy..they will never end..
it's juz us yg probably getting mature everyday..
it's juz us yg probably akan timbul rse kesedaran dlm diri 2 make things better..
a fwen of mine used 2 claim dat dr dlu smpai skrg he is completely d'same person.
but i said 2 him..no..u're not bcuz d'maturity yg change u..either 2 b better o worse.
same goes when it comes 2 love.
few years back u were probably a jerk who screwed up few tyms.
even nowadays u've tried harder 2 make things right but still has no luck,
but juz keep on trying bcuz;
"Allah sentiasa bersama orang2 yg bersabar" =]

p/s:jgn sbb stu pintu t'tutop kowg tutop pintu2 laen yg ade.( tenkiu syera ;] )

::SuhadanuaR::

dh lupe rase bercinta [i]

2009-05-11T11:13:00.005+08:00

0945pm
10th May 2009
oldtown,bangi.

dh lupe rase ble pagi2 celik mate de msg dr yg t'syg;
"gudmorning~"

dh lupe rase ble mlm2 b4 lelap mate de msg dr si dia;
"gudnyte~"

dh lupe rase ble yg t'syg pgl;
"sayang.." "manje.." "musyuk.."

dh lupe rase ade perasaan windu yg t'amat sgt kt si dia.

dh lupe rase ble si dia btau;
"sy windu awk sgt3.."

dh lupe rase ble kalut nk b'siap n xtau pe nk pkai sbb nk jumpe yg si dia;
kdg2 g kedai2 bese jew kot..huhu~

dh lupe rase d'pujuk dan memujuk sampai all d'skills
almost gone.. =p

dh lupe rase ble every tym kuar g mane2 sure t'pk;
"nk bli ape ek utk die?

dh lupe rase sonok nk cte kt mbr2 mcm ne die wt kte rse bahagie
n lupe gk rase sedey nk cte kt mbr2 mcm ne die wt kte t'luke.

dh lupe rase gadoh2 over silly o siyes stuff.

dh lupe rase ble jeles tgk die gn pompuan len =(

dh lupe rase ble ngah hepi2 o sdey2 straight away call him;
"awk2..tau x td kn.."

dh lupe rase ble si dia kate;
"awk..sy sayang awk sgt3.."
n he mean it =]

dh lupe rase when he confess;
"u r everythin 2 me.."

dh lupe jugak rase secure in every second of life dat
u're havin sum1 like him dat can look afta u n care a lot bout u =]

dh lupe rse sume 2 sbb dh lame xrse...

::SuhadanuaR::

-berhenti- (Part II)

2009-03-30T23:25:00.002+08:00

once akuh dh start syg,
akuh syg gn sepenuh ati..

once akuh dh start percaye,
akuh percaye gn seluruh jiwe..

once akuh dh start bkk pintu ati,
akuh bkk dgn seluas-luas nyew..

xkire lah in relationship o fwenship,
ble akuh wt sket2 akuh ssh nk rse,
mayb e2 kelemahan akuh,
n when i applied all those things akuh akan jd sgt depending,
n bnd 2 yg akan wt akuh ssh kn owg sekeliling akuh..

hmm..
any solution 4 dat? =(

::SuhadanuaR::

mungkin..?

2009-03-30T23:00:00.005+08:00

bila malam telah datang,
terkadang ingin ku tulis,
semua perasaan..
kata orang cinta itu indah,
namun bagiku adakalanya ia menyiksa,
sejenak ku fikirkan untuk ku tutup saja pintu hati,
namun mampukah aku sendiri?

ku pejamkan mata bila ingin bernafas lega,

dalam perjalanan ini,
sering diriku berada di persimpangan yang sulit untuk ku putuskan,
ku peluk semua indah hidupku,
hikmah yg ku rasa sangat tulus,
adakah dengan ada dan tiada cinta bagiku tak mengapa?
namun mungkin ada yg hilang separuh hidupku...

yg b'jalan terus tanpa henti,
::SuhadanuaR::

-berhenti-

2009-03-27T02:50:00.004+08:00

penat bergantung,

penat berharap,

xksh lah kat sape2 pon,

sbb one dayh nti mesti kecewa,

so,

tolong berhenti bg harapan,

n me masef kne berhenti bergantung kt owg len,

bergantung kt diri sendri jew,

sbb diri sndri tau pe yg diri sndri wt,

sbb owg len mayb akan o telah wt bnd yg kte xphm n kte xkan pnah phm,

pastu nti yg saket diri sendri,

pastu akan susahkn kwn3 len,

ble kate sshkn kwn3 len 2 b'maksud bergantung kt kwn3 len lak lah kn?

so,

STOP IT wahai suhada!

bergantung lah pada diri sendiri sahaja,

penat..

penat..

penat..

::SuhadanuaR::

fight utk yg t'sayang

2009-03-17T23:53:00.006+08:00

dear kwn2 ku sayang,

tolonglah fight utk owg yg kowg nak..
tolonglah fight utk owg yg u kowg suke..
tolonglah fight utk owg yg kowg sayang..

ask ursef whether u really want him o not?
if it's a yes then ask ursef again sanggup x kowg nk tanggung d'pain?
sanggup x kowg tanggung any bad consequences?
sbb yg nk tanggung saket nye diri kowg sendri..

if u choose to quit fighting n trying,
then u kne terime lah if u xdpt die.

but there's a saying;
kalau kowg nk sum1 u've 2 fight 4 it,
afta dh usahe sungguh2 tp xdpt gk mayb he isnt 4u,
but one day if he comes back,
he is 4 u..

kwn2,
slagi owg yg kowg nk 2 bkn milik owg len,
fight lah slagi kowg mampu,
obviously it is wrong rampas owg len nyew,
so dun do it!
ever!
cuz even if u got him pon ur life will b filled wif guilt!

saket tau ble kowg xmampu nk fight atas alasan die hak owg len..

so slagi owg yg kowg nk 2 xkate;
"u..it wasnt u dat i want..it's her"
(o anythin yg lbey kuang cm 2)
then kowg kne fight all out!
but once die dh came out gn dat kind of statement,
then u've 2 back off,
saket mmg saket,
tp atleast u've tried ur very besh..kn?

so kwn2 ku,
skali agi;

tolonglah teruskan usahe n perjuangan kamuh sume e2.

akuh doakan yg t'baek utk kowg,
utk kisah cinta kowg =]

::SuhadanuaR::

i do need u,

2009-03-17T19:16:00.005+08:00

"hey,just remember,hang tough,and u always have me."

hey,

thanx a lot,

i do need u,

juz b who u r n who we r,

juz like d'past few years,

i love dat more than anythin..

::SuhadanuaR::

same tp x serupe =]

2009-03-02T00:38:00.009+08:00

on d'18th of february;

[lepak gn enol]
plan nk g anta bella gn ayu kt airport.shud b on d'14th lepak gn enol gn bella tp xjd sbb de keje.so dr start amik enol tym tgh ari sampai ah tym nk anta die lik kitorg sembg non-stop.gusip2 e2 sudah pasti~hahaha!!!=p bwk cik kak nih g jln2 kt alamanda.lalu t'cetus ah idea makcik nih nk bkk bisnes design sliper..huhu!pe2 pon gudlux eh nol? =]

[anta bella kt LCCT]
around 5pm gerak from uma.kate nyew bella nk lik australia.e2 menurut ainul ah.so akuh pon nk babai2 ah gn enol.at 1st akuh pon cm plek gk asal nk lik australia naek air asia?tp pk2 lik,mayb de kot sbb air asia now g london pon de.so ble dh smpai LCCT 2 nmpk bella gn bf die jew.so akuh pon tny ah,b'due jew ke?cm t'pk gk,xkan fam bella xmau anta die kn?so dgn ilex nyew bella jwb,"ala..lik kelantan jew kot.lik australia on 26th"twos akuh turn sharp kt enol.mmg xleh pkai tol makhluk sowg nih.huhu!wrong info wupe nyew.seb baek xblikn bella cokelet ke pe ke kn?kalo x agi cm malu.huhu~tp xrse wugi pon sbb dpt jmpe bella even jp jew pon.dh byk kali dh cancel nk jumpe.but atlast~nway,tenkiu enol sbb m'realisasikn impian akuh utk ketemu sama bella..icecece~ =p

[anta ayu kt KLIA]
around 7pm gerak g KLIA from LCCT.ayu kne check in kol8.seb baek sempat jumpe.cian kt trex ah sbb dh nk smpai dh tp ayu dh check in.smpt ah sembg2 jp gn ayu.sembg sket2 gn fam die.me+enol gave her sumthin (ayu..jge leklok tau?lik mesia nti pulang lik eh?syg sgt gamba 2.huhu~kiddin2 =p ).wmai xdpt nk anta ayu sbb sme owg dh start test+exam+quiz.tp xpe kot.i think ayu phm =]

on d'28th February;
[hurul's wedding dayh]
few days afta lepak gn enol,akuh dpt tau from azliana yg hurul,ma classmate tym kt jb dlu nk kawen dh.so pungpangpungpang ah pakat nk g.actully d'excitment more 2 nk jmpe dak2 yg len sbb dgr cm wmai gk yg nk twon.dak utm skudai pon twon.dis wedding ala2 mini gath gk ah utk all d'fighters.ngee~so,dat morning kol930 g ukm dlu,gather gn dak2 c2 n bru gerak g tmpt hurul.kol11 bru smpai.huhu!seb baek smpt tgk akad nikah.dat wedding is kinda simple but tgk hurul hepih kre ok ah 2 =] mmg dak2 nih sakan amik gmba,sakan b'sembg b'gusip.huhu!

[mini gath 4 fighters]
afta dat wedding,sume gerak g jj cheras slatan.igt nk spend tym 2gether.dh smpai sne,afta dh smyg2 sme,pk2 lik,btr g lepak maple jew sbb jmpe sure nk sembg2.kalo nk tgk movie len taon pon leh.huhu! so sme gerak ah lak g maple kt ss15.tym 2 yg tgl akuh+temah+tipah+azliana+as+zaza+nadjamil+kim+shake.pas2 leh ah lak update psl life msing2.psl rltnshp nih of cos ah one of d'main stuff yg kitorg sembg.aduih~huhu!around 430 gerak g ukm,lepak kolej temah.smbung nyembg2 agi smpai kol630 bru anta tipah gn nad g kmtr.akuh pon lik ah uma..

1st march;
[kluar xplan]
pg2 kol8 bgn dpt msg from farr kate die de kt ukm.smpai mlm td.die a bit upset sbb xdpt nk attend wedding hurul sbb de test.nway,die ajak lepak2 n anta azliana gn shake g pudu.agipon akuh pon dh lame xnyembg gn cik kak sowg nih.so akuh+temah+farr+azliana+shake pon b'jln2 ah kt kl.g jln tar ah,g sungei wang ah.seseko dh pnat tp nk jln gk.huhu!yg besh nyew 2day 'sonok' tuka train ah.bpe kali salah naek train.aduhai~huhu!

sgt3 windu mbr2 stf.akuh can b considered as agak lucky gk ah when it comes 2 fwenships sbb tym kua2 gn dak2 nih dowg de yg kate rse len ah ble lepak gn mbr2 stf sbb de mbr2 dowg yg len xhuhahuha cm dak2 stf kot.but as 4 me i'm soooooo lucky sbb kt stf dlu akuh dpt kwn huhahuha,kt campus pon akuh dpt kwn huhahuha.kt skula dlu ble akuh sdey2 o hepih2,akuh share gn yann+farr+temah n mbr2 yg len.kt campus now nih pon akuh de anis+mia n yg len2 yg treat akuh as gud as ma stf fwens did.tp bse ah 2 dlm fwenship de xpuas ati ere n thr but normal ah bnd 2 kn?as 4 me,b'kwn gn mbr2 stf n b'kwn gn mbr2 campus d'excitment almost d'same but of cos ah d'feelin ere n thr de a bit different.wut eva it is,akuh b'syukur sgt3 dpt kwn2 cm yg akuh de now nih.mayb nk contact frequently 2 xdpt ah sbb sume owg de life msing2.as long as x lost cntc n ble de rezki leh jmpe,dat's more than enuf,kn? =] hey fighters 0105..akuh syg kowg sume sgt3 =]

ainul,me n bella @LCCT

me, ayu n ainol @ KLIA

me n d'fighters on hurul's wedding dayh

me, azliana n shake @ JJ Cheras Selatan

::SuhadanuaR::

m'cube utk b'diri kembali

2009-02-24T07:21:00.003+08:00

akuh tau bkn sng,
tp akuh kne cube..

honestly..
akuh xtau pe yg akuh rse snanyew,
xtipu,
tgk sme bnd rse saket,
tp it's crystal clear bkn 2 yg akuh nk..kn?
tp still rse saket..
hm..
but i'll try 2 get over it nway..

i curse a lot lately,
i know it's not a gud thing 2 do,
i'm not proud of it,
sumtyms it juz feels gud when u do it y'know?
ma eldest tegor..
die ckp kalo istighfar i'll feel mucccccch more better,
n yeah..she's rite..
i'm trying ma very besh 2 get rid of dat nu bad habit,
kwn2..
tlg eh? =(

i'm addicted 2 sumthin since last month,
4 real!
i thot it juz...i dunno..
but 4 real..i'm addicted 2 it!
y?
again..i dunno..
i'm so worry if dat addiction will drag me 2 sum other thing..
dat even worse..
shud i blame sum1 bcuz of it?
mayb i shudn't..kn?
salah sndri kot..
ntah..
but sure de cure kn?
kwn2..
tlg eh? =(

in ma condition rite now sumtyms i can't think wisely,
sumtyms i can't even think!
i feel so distracted..
mayb i shud stop driving 4 a while cuz lately byk kali dh nk accident..
Gosh!
wut is wrong wif me?!!
is it dat bad?
hm..

2 ppl out there..
dis is wut u get when u let ur heart wins!
bullshit kn? (allowed me 2 do it 4 d'last tym)

i'm trying 2 pick up d'pieces..
i'm trying 2 move on..
i'm trying 2 gain all ma strenghts..
i'm trying 2 get over ma weakness..

dear all fwenS of mine..
y'know dat i'm phethatically weak rite?
help me up..
i need u guys on dis..
i really do..

::SuhadanuaR::

lesson dat i've learnt.

2009-02-18T00:46:00.004+08:00

Dear fwen,
1st of all i would like 2 apolagize if afta all dis while i didn't realize wut kind of mistake i did 2u,
D'other day i sat n talked wif close fwen of mine,
Few topics came out from dat conversation,
One of it was about 'saying no' 2 ppl,
Thru ma observation n ma personal experience,
Certain thing it's better 4 us 2 say no dlm keadaan yg xsiyes,
4 example;joking,
it doesnt mean kte make fun of dat thing,
it's juz dat kte xmau create an awkward c2ation o feelin afta talking about dat stuff,
but dat fwen of mine told me sumthin dat i juz know,
bkn sume bnd leh wt cm 2,
especially 2 a guy..

he was given me dis one analogy;
There's a married couple.D'wife really3 wanna have kids.But d'husband really3 dun wanna have kids.at d'early marriage mmg both of them agree not 2 have kids.But afta few years d'wife asked,"Sayang..let's have kids nk?"n d'husband joking psl dat kids issue 2 distract d'wife.Wut would d'wife feel?Dia sgt3 nk have babies n sgt3 b'sedia+siyes ke arah e2,tp her hubby cm men2.it's a siyes matter n u make fun of it?Isn't it suppose 2 sound sumthin like,"Sayang..I'm sowi but i really dun want kids." When u dun want then said u dun want.So d'wife will get d'exact point yg her husband mmg xmau kids.It might feel bad 4 d'wife in any ways pon sbb d'answer is still no but by choosing d'straight 2 d'point way d'wife will catch d'point easily n it shows dat her husband take dat matter siyesly.

In short,
In anythin yg u rse siyes matter n required siyes answer,
Jwb straight!
Joking bout it is totally not d'beSh thing 2 do,
I've learnt ma lesson..

n hey,
if..
if wut i did 2 u previously hurting u,
if dat wut makes wut now,
i'm truly sowi,
we never had a siyes discussion bout dis,
but I do have ma own reasons y it's a no,
i do..

::SuhadanuaR::

we can't do everythin n have everythin..

2009-02-17T19:03:00.004+08:00

Lately I've been thinking about what I can do
I've been stressing to fall back in love with you
I'm so sorry that I couldn't follow through
But I can't go on this way
I've got to stop it babe
You've been wonderful in all that you can be
But it hurts when you say that you understand me
So believe me
I am sorry..
I wanted you to be there when I fall
I wanted you to see me through it all
I wanted you to be the one I loved
I wanted you..
I wanted you to hold me in my sleep
I wanted you to show me what I need
I wanted you to know just how down deep
I wanted you..
I've been pushing hard to open up the door
Trying to take us back to where we were before
But I'm done
I just can't do this anymore
'Cuz we can't be mended
So let's stop pretending now
We've been walking around in circles for some time
And I think we should head for the finish line
So believe me
I am sorry..
I have to leave
But I'll always remember how we came close
To being how I wanted to be..

*kisah sempurna..

::SuhadanuaR::

terima kasih atas segalanya..

2009-02-17T18:34:00.003+08:00

Maafkan aku
Telahku lukakan hatimu cintaku
Ingin benar ku memahami dirimu
Agar dapat selalu senyum di wajahmu
Betapa sungguh ku inginkan
Belaian senantiasa kau berikan ku
Merasa kehangatan cintamu
Namun,
Segalanya tak semudah yang diharapkan,
Sayunya tiap kali kau katakan ku yang kau mahu
Bebanannya ku tak mampu
Aku bukan seperti yang dikau perlu
Mungkin dia yang terbaik untuk dirimu
Maafkan aku..

::SuhadanuaR::

Karangan February 14,

2009-02-15T10:55:00.012+08:00

February 14 yg sgt terisi;

Pendahuluan;
x pk sgt pon psl it was a V dayh.i feel more like "it's a dayh afta a month n hopin 4 thgs gettin better".but seems like it's gettin uglier?i dunno.wuteva it is,it wasnt a gud start of d'dayh.i had a lil talk o argument o wuteva it should b called wif sum1.at 1st igt xmau bring out dis issue sbb i'm so concern if die rse swabot sbb leh d'katekn evytym sembg mesti issue nih kua.but dat nyte tbe2 issue nih t'cetus lik.n bcuz of dat i let all d'6W1H yg slame nih i keep it 2 masef out!urm..bkn sng nk gain all d'strenght.i know by saying all dat i might lose.again.but nk cmni smpai ble?yup,akuh bkn p'nyabar sgt.i can b one n always b one.but in dis case,i dun think i could.everythin bout dat conversation kinda affect ma whole dayh..

Isi-Isi Penting;

(1)I slept at 2 plus2.I woke up at 830.plan 4 d'dayh nk g survey vanue 4 dinner sumwhere in s.alam.mentally dh mmg penat sbb penat.physically pnat sbb xckup rest.d'nyte b4 pon lack of sleep gk.but pk keje,so m'gagahkn dri gk ah.me+mia+ijat+areyol started our hunting at 10 tepat(bak kate ijat) dan 3 menet.huhu!from concord 2 bluewave 2 sheraton n 2 holiday inn.pnat mmg pnat.menapak gn heels 2inchi spgjg ari kot?huk3!but it was such an awesome experience.get 2 know d'real world of meeting ppl+improving ma pr n management skills.it's all about learning.awesome!well,it was a valentine's dayh.so all d'decos in every hotels dat we entered sme nyew pinky2 n got booth yg jual teddy n chocs.nice~n 4 of us seb baek pkai formal n bring all d'files n dslr cam.kalo x,de gk ah nmpk cm kitorg nk check in sbb we all came in pairs n it was valentine.huhu~ *so 4 those yg plan 2 check in,dress up ah formal2 sket n bwk ah briefcase ke file2 ke..bru owg x pk pe2..ngee~ (kiddin lor!)

(2)I dunno it's bcuz of d'tense o wut yg wt kn nafsu mkn akuh m'buak3!hahahaha!!!Agak m'bakar duet dan menambah lemak gk ah kn utk stu ari nih.4 breakfast mkn nasik lemak kt uma ijat.4 lunch at 3 mkn ciken sandwich kt bbq ciken kt sunway.mmg sgt sdp n sgt kenyang tahap dewa.environment die pon besh.kitorg dok kt valentine's section.nmpk cm kitorg wt double date ah lak.waitress kt c2 siap tny agi npe x order valentine's set.aduhai..sy dan areyol bkn b'same ah cik waitress,tp owg len 2 sy xtau ah..hok3~(uik,de yg senyum sowg2 nmpk? =p ) utk sesi 9mlm,mkn woti canai sardin kt maple.n utk sesi 1pg mkn charkuey teow lak.gumok3!huk3.

(3)afta mkn 2 bdn dh maken mls n kaki dh maken saket.plan nk tgk muvee kt gsc.tp makhluk2 d'c2 jumlah nyew sgt lah m'nyepoil kn mood nk tgk muvee.so sbb mls ngat nk tgu,kitorg pon g ah cineplex kt d'curve.pon wmai owg tp x s'wmai gsc sunway ah.mia gn ijat sgt wajen mau b'diri dan beratur,so 'new in town' m'jd pilihan.we met kimi n his gf norein there.so kami nmpk mcm triple dates ah lak.huk3!n tym ngah tgk muvee 2 akuh wt bnd yg sgt ntah pe2.TIDO!aduih,pnat sgt kot.cte 2 xde ah busan sgt.tp mayb sbb pnat sgt kot.3 kali t'lelap.rse t'bakar gk ah 10hengget 2.huk3~

(4)e2 ari mmg most ppl m'zahirkn kaseh sayang mereka.all d' bouquet of roses..boxes of chocolates..sweet n fancy V dayh cards..candle lite dinner..including all d'huggies n kishy..em,bahagie nyew mereke2 e2 kn? =] kn owg kate V dayh nih snanyew sempena kemenangan christian jatohkn Islam n stuff kn?so cm xbaek gle ah if clbrt.tp ntah ah.bkn clbrt atas dasar kemenangan 2 pon.gle pe?cm last year wajen gk ah jmpe dak2 nih ckp"weyh,hepih valentine's dayh!" cm sajew ckp,ske2.tp dis year cm dh xde ati nk ckp2 cm 2. kt spe2 pon..urm..twok sgt ke ek dat damage?hm..

(5)nway,february 14 nih ari kegembiraan owg len~dlm perasaan xtentu nih,honestly sgt hepih tgk die bahgie.hey u,tlg ah twos m'bahagie kn pelangi sayeh yg dumil eni k?n pesanan dr penaja,kalo spe2 kt luar 2 nk bli pape utk spe2 sbg cth roses o cokelat,silelah twos bli.xyah ah tny owg 2 nk ke x.it suppose 2 b a surprise,isnt it?aduih~huk3!kebahagian t'sebut b'larutan smpai kol2pg.sonok nyew perasaan t'sebut~huhu!akuh siyesly dh pnat n gntok n pnat.huk3!tp utk kebahagiaan kwn2 sgup ku korban kn mse rehatku.icecece~ngee..

Penutup;
14 february yg sgt3 t'isi.dr kol10 tepat dan 3 menet smpai kol2pg.sonok 2 sonok.sonok wt keje.sonok jln2.sonok tgk owg len sonok.sonok gelak3.tp,ati snanyew xsonok ngat kot.nk kate kosong sgt,x gk.mayb ruang 2 x fully filled kot.kn?mayb sbb de kisah yg lum sempurna kot.ntah.gelak 2 gelak gk.mayb sbb nk lawan perasaan len 2 kot.hm.b'doa yg t'baek utk sume pihak..jum doa sme2 k?

::SuhadanuaR::

bigB wif roast coffee~

2009-02-09T13:10:00.011+08:00

09Feb2009
1234pm
MCD dataran pahlawan,

"one plate of bigB n one large cup of roast coffee(2 creamer+2 sugar) =] "

wink3~
ari nih wt bnd merepek sket,
mia msg lastnyte ajak g breakfast mcd,
sounds great!
sbb cm tringin ngat nk mkn bigB,
smlm tym msk2 kt uma ijatMia =p
he showed us dis one risalah ckp mcd xde kne mengene gn israel n wutso eva.
so..yey~
ngee~

at 1st ajenie gn anis xmau juin,
so usehe m'mujuk d'lakukan,
cm akuh ckp b4 dis..it's almost over,
so akuh cm nk spend as much tym as possible gn dowg,
n at last anis+ajenie ikot!
yey again~
ngee~

now kt mcd dataran,
td g mcd ayer keroh but sne xleh on9,
2 yg dtg cni,
hok3~
mia+syera+anis+ajenie ngah on9.
n me?
i'm writing dis down on ma tiny notebook yg salu dok semak dlm handbag nih,
(hey3..i found ur handwritin in it =p )
huhu~
urm..really wish 6 of us could b ere but hetti xde,
she went home 2 get sum rest afta havin a in small surgery last few days,
get well soon eh pelangi sayeh? =]

perasaan ari nih cm..undescribable..hepih pon de sbb dpt kuar lpk2 gn dak2 nih,cm nk senyum sowg2 pon de sbb lastnyte de dis one person ckp..hehe..lalalla~ ngee~ =p cm cdey+sayu pon de sbb i kept on denying 2 masef on how i felt all dis while..hm..i've 2 do so..i guess.. =(

::SuhadanuaR::

It's Almost Over

2009-02-08T13:21:00.002+08:00

As I’m sitting all by masef at d’end of ma loft, I start 2 realize sumthin..It’s almost over.It’s already February 7^th2009.i’m counting d’dayh 2 ma graduation dayh. InsyaAllah by dis April technically I’ll be finished ma diploma. Wow..feels like I juz turned 18 n within few weeks I’m turning 21? Seems like I stay in Malacca for almost 3 yrs! Urm..everythin juz happened in a blink, aren’t they?

I could feel d’difference wif dis semester. I only have class on Thursday n Friday. I kinda mish 2 get up early in d’morning 2 go 2 class. I mish 2 make masef a mug of Nescafe o Vico o anything as ma breakfast. I mish 2 rush 2 class cuz I get up late. I mish 2 attend ‘3 hours straight boring class’ everyday. I mish ma kecoh2 classmates! All d’yelling n screaming n d’annoying2 thingy..huhu! but Gosh, I mish all of dat! In short, I mish d’chaos of ma life as a student. I know I’m gonna hate it when I’m in d’middle of it but when it isn’t there, only God knows how much i mish 2 b part of it, again..

X semestinyew stu bnd yg kte ske 2 bnd2 len yg jd dlm die kte ske..tol x? Honestly, I luv being d’assistant of classrep. I luv all d’managing2 stuff dat going in it. D’experience of assisting arm 4 one sem n another 3 sems wif areyol was great! I know sumtyms I get a lil bossy..huhu! but I’m juz doing ma job, kn class?huk3~ yg plg ssh ble nk dpt cooperation from all d’classmates. Hanye Tuhan jew ah yg tau betape azab nyew. Esp when it cums 2 mintak duet. Sensitive issue, isn’t it? Len owg len prangai len kehendak len keinginan. Ssh nk ikot pale sume owg. Sumtyms I need 2 use inappropriate tones 2 ‘earn’ a decision. Aduhai classmates ku..sowi ek if de yg trase ati? But afta all d’difficulties n stuff, we all managed 2 earn few sweet moments 4 our class, aren’t we? =] remember sagil? N then Seoul’s Garden? Then PD trip! Xkre agi fescomm n activity2 len. Such an awesome experience! Thanx a lot guys~ really appreciate it =]

Talking bout d’course dat I’m taking rite now, d’decision 2 choose masscom is bcuz of ma mom. B4 dat I was still searching 4 d’path of life dat can suit me..suit ma interest. N of cos bkn science stream. Tolak m3x gopeng for masscom. Well, mayb dh takdir, mama met dis one person tym ngah wt haji wic was a yr b4 I need 2 fill in ma upu form. Dat person is also in masscom line. She told mama all about her job n right away mama rse ‘dis is d’path dat suit ma daughter!’ So, here I am =] n insyaAllah I’ll becoming a one successful PR. Doakan eh? =]

I’ll never regret 2 b here in Uitm Malacca Campus. New place new life. Rse nyew if x studi cni cm xkan knal melake kot..huhu! N thanx a lot 2 mia sbb she’s responsible 2 bring me into ‘tour 2 Melaka’ 4 d’past 2 n a half yrs. Die gk ah yg b’tgjwb m’introduce ‘dunia’ overnyte 2 me.ngee~ it was fun mia. So much fun =] another thing, fyi..mia is a fwenship cupid! Huhu! I called her so cuz I became close 2 anis+syera+hetti+ajenie let juz say b’cuz of her. Bak kate syera, “kitorg m’besar dlm kete mia”. When she decided 2 bring all of us jln2, tym 2 kitorg sume get 2 know each other n getting closer. Menarik kn? Terima kasih damia =]

Let’s juz say all ma fwens adalah antara reason y I could survive til 2day. Life isn’t dat easy, y’know dat rite? Mcm2 bnd kne face, mcm2 sonok rse, mcm2 saket kne trime, n at d’end kwn2 ah yg de gn kte. I can’t imagine ma life without them. Ble gado gn bf pon mbr yg kte cri. Ble gado gn mbr pon mbr gk yg kte cri. So there’s no xcuse npe idop kte nih xperlu de kwn. Rite? Dlm tempoh 2 taon lbey blaja kt melake nih, I wasn’t juz learn about COM361 o JRN221 o PRO231 semate2. I learn about life. Kwn2 yg byk teach me bout life. Whether it’s a gud thing 2 learn o not, whether it’s in a gud way of learning o not, they are lessons 2 b learn. We’r big enuf 2 decide wut’s gud n wut’s not 4 our lives. Byk sgt nk mention pe yg I’ve learn spjg kt melake nih n from who I learn. U guys know who u r, wut hav u done 2 me as well as 2 ma life whether in a gud way o not. D’process of learning must b harmful but it could b o will b useful 4 us in get thru dis challenges life in d’future. Terima kaseh kawan2 ku atas sume2 nyew =]

*I realize dat I have one great journey of life dat I want 2 share it wif sum1 special. But 4 now, I haven’t found him yet. Or he hasn’t found me? Urm..some said d’dayh will come. So marilah kte tunggu,ok?ngee~

::SuhadanuaR::

ma 1st cheese cake?ngee~

2009-02-02T13:55:00.003+08:00

mlm nih de slumber party,
mereka2 yg akan juin is me+arnish+mia+syera+hetti+ajenie,
sume owg kne bwk fud,
sajew ske2 xde keje,
ngee~
n i plan 2 bake a cheese cake yg akuh blaja from ma aunt,
i'm so bad at cooking apetah agi baking,
b4 dis wt gn k.long,
kre nyew de yg m'bantu ah,
dis tym wt sowg2,
so enih ah hasil nyew,
bentuk fizikal sgt3 scary seperti yg t'tera,
hahaha!!!
k.long soh ma fwens yg nk mkn cake nih 2 get their insuran nyawe,
scary x?scary x?
hahahaha!!!
actually dis cake suppose 2 b golden yellow,
tp...err..hehe~
utk rse die kte kne tgu abes slumber party bru leh kumen,
hohoho~
wish me luck then =]

::SuhadanuaR::

sayang n jodoh?

2009-02-01T12:21:00.004+08:00

do u guys believe in jodoh?
kowg rse jodoh 2 juz happen o we need 2 earn it?
as 4 me kan jodoh 2 mcm rezki,
yup..rezki 2 Allah yg bg,
tp if kte x useha rezki 2 xkan dtg bute2 kt kte,
tol x?

same goes 2 jodoh,
mayb u n him rse2 cm meant 2 b 2gether,
even afta few years things happened,
afta all d'maki2 stuff n all d'ignorance,
tbe2 jew bnd jd,
2 kte pgl jodoh ke?

o u guys being fwens since 4 eva,
ssh sng sme2,
he lends u shoulder of his whenever u need it,
he provides u 'shelter' like u never had b4,
he borrows u his ears so dat u never felt alone,
tp xpnah t'lintas pon yg he's actually d'one 4u,
tbe2 jew bnd jd,
e2 jodoh ke?

tp jodoh 2 is sumthin else,
another thing yg penting is SAYANG,
sayang liaise 2 hati,
cm kte tau ble ckp psl bnd2 yg melibatkn ati nih ssh,
tp kowg tau x yg sayang 2 no matter how deep it is ia akan ilang if kowg xjage..
yup..it's a fact,
n sayang 2 mmg xleh pakse tp die leh d'pupuk..

juz imagine kowg de sum1 yg mayb kowg rse u both meant 2 b 2gther,
but there's lack of efforts in maintaining o enhancing d'sayang,
n at d'end dun b surprise if sayang 2 pudar..
same goes 2 sayang yg d'pupuk,
dr xde lgsg mayb leh jd greater than eva if kne cara kne gaya,
kan?

another thing psl tanggungjawab+rse sayang n kemahuan+rse sayang,
rse2 if kte de dlm dis one c2ation yg kte kne deal wif both dis,
which one would b d'choice of ours?
ssh kn ble harus memilih?
hm..

thus,
2 u guys outthere yg tgh in luv ke o yg tgh searching ke o yg tgh b'usaha ke,
all d'beSh 2 all of u,
yg de dpn mate 2 appreciate die slagi mampu,
yg ngah m'cari 2 pilih yg btol2 yg can suit u,
igt..dun b wif sum1 only bcuz u'r alone,
u'll hurting ursef including him,
yg ngah b'usaha 2 lak..do ur very beSh,
show all ur concern n stuff,
show them how much u want them,
show them how much important they're 2 u,
but ble dh dpt nti jgn benti b'usaha sbb..
SAYANG n JODOH 2 r 2 things dat required lots of effort 2 earn them =]

::SuhadanuaR::

deep..

2009-01-31T16:43:00.005+08:00

when u r not there
i'm wondering where d'hell r u
when i saw u
i was afraid to meet u
when i met u
i was afraid to love u
when i loved u
i was afraid to lose u..

::SuhadanuaR::

menyanyi sekuat ati~

2009-01-29T13:30:00.002+08:00

i juz reach home from picking up ma aunt from a place,
b4 dat i went 2 clinic wif ma mum 4 a lil check up,
on ma way 2 pick up ma aunt td kn;

kowg tau x akuh ske nyanyi?
hahahaha!!!
yup!
sgt3 ske!
esp in d'shower~
muhahahaha!!!
but td tym drive sowg2 akuh wt bnd yg akuh rse puas gle3!
akuh xdrive laju pon,
60km/j jew,
but ma mp4 volume mmg almost reach d'limit,
ngee~
i know it wasnt a gud thing 2 do ble drive n pkai mp3@mp4 o bnd2 yg melibatkn earphone d'tinge,
if ppl honking o wuteva kte xdgr,
so..dun try dis at home k?
hok3~

b'balek pd bakat yg kte perkatekan td =p
i sang few songs out loud,
lagu utk mu+underneath ur clothes+the loneliness+7things+family potrait+there's nothing+percaya pd cinta+situasi+cinta+tegar+kau ada dia+ n beberape agi lgu len.
(seb baek ah xjao,kalo x mmg abes suare dow..huu~)
actually lgu2 e2 d'pilih atas dasar hafal lirik snanyew,
ngee~
i dunno y but ble nyanyi 2 rse puas gle3,
rse mcm stu bnd dlm ati nih (xtau ah beban o perasaan) rse lepas sket,
i think i shud do it more often am i?
(abah..nk kete sndri plish?)

ble akuh rse sdey o preasure akuh ske drive,
akuh pon xtau npe,
tp ble drive 2 cm rse..ntah..tp stu ketenangan ah,
nk agi besh bkk lagu kuat2 nyanyi s'kuat2 ati,
bkn owg kete sblh leh dgr pon,
tp dr lua nmpk kte cm owg gle ah ngange mulot luas2,
hahahahha!!!
n of cos ah auto sbb mls nk pk2 nk tuka2 gear,
juz tekan myk n break =]
tp akuh rse sgt3 bahye if akuh wt cm 2 sbb ble otak dok pk2 bnd len kte jd xfocus,
ble x focus..devider jln yg suda terang agi b'spotlight 2 pon xleh nmpk,
alamat nyew bwh kete kakak ku e2 t'sagat dan agak twok kondusinyew,
begitu jugek dgn bumper s'besar kayu balak d'depan mate,
e2 pon xnmpk n akuh break mengejut,
lalalalla~
twok kn?
owg dh bg pnjm kete akuh g jahanam kn lak,
huhu~

alahai,
nk bebel agi but nk kne kua dh,
nk bwk ma adek2 g jln2,
baek kn kakak?
hok3~

later~

::SuhadanuaR::

shukran!

2009-01-25T00:34:00.005+08:00

kehadapan kawan2 sayeh yg t'sayang,

dh nk msok 21 taon akuh idop kt muke bumi nih,
xtau ah mampu o x nk cecah umor byk2..wallahualam..
tp slame hampir 21 taon nih mcm2 jns kwn yg akuh jumpe,
kte xleh nk expect kwn2 kte 2 perfect kn sbb kte sndri pon byk kurgnyew,
tp kdg2 2 cm sweet lak sbb kurg kte lbey kt die..kurg die lbey kt kte..kn? =]
ala2 u complete me gituh~
ngee~

owg salu ckp psl beShfwen..truefwen..closefwen..n any other term of fwen,
kdg2 akuh sndri cm takot gn term2 cm 2,
cm takot xleh nk reach d'expectation of certain degree of those terms,
akuh pnh de dlm c2ation whereby akuh meninggalkn dan d'tglkn owg yg b'gelar kwn,
akuh pnh de dlm c2ation akuh menyakiti dan d'sakiti owg yg b'gelar kwn,
akuh pnh de dlm c2ation akuh mengelirukn dan d'kelirukan owg yg b'gelar kwn,
byk agi ah c2ation yg kdg2 akuh sndri pon xphm npe jd cm 2,
manusia kn..sme de ragam masing2,

i used 2 read o heard from sumwhere yg kate..
"treat others as u want ursef 2 b treated"
tp kte manusia biase kn?
kdg2 kte xmampu nk penuhi semue keinginan kwn2 kte,
sme gk cm ble kte xpuas ati gn layanan o attention kwn2 kte,
nk x nk kte kne agp yg die pon manusia biase cm kte yg de byk comitment len,
pk ah pe2 yg patot yg leh wt kte sng ati n let dat fwenship remains.. =]

kpd semue mereke2 yg b'gelar kwn2 kpd NurSuhadaAnuar,
seploh jari disusun mohon ampun dan maaf if de salah silap tlbey tkurg,
n tlg guide akuh if akuh dh t'pesong jaoh,
tlg papah akuh if akuh xmampu bangun dh,
n tlg bantu akuh utk sembuh if akuh cedera parah,
sbb akuh rse akuh xmampu kot nk idop sendri kt dunie yg superdupercomplicated nih,
akuh de Dia yg satu yg akuh yakin akan tlg akuh,
akuh de family back ere yg sentiase support akuh,
n u guys adelah another ingrediant penting dlm memastikn ratio dlm idop akuh betol!

kpd sume kwn2 akuh,
kowg tau spe kowg,
juz wanna let u guys know yg akuh sgt3 b'trime kaseh kt kowg,
thanx 2 technology gk sbb leh wt kte sme intouch even sme owg jao n bz,
akuh sayang kowg sme sgt3 =]

special dedication 2;
amal+bagan+arnish+syera+mia+hetti+ajenie+acha+mar+areyol+
za8+arm+hamz+zul+reez+fadhil+alex+akimadnan+dumbell+gyn+
acap+capi+ eijat+dihaq+temah+yann+chark+farr+ayu+poo+meot+
jack+zatinaem+bella+shamat+tikah+ainul++nola+keynah+mizah+
watif+ nadsaat+mai+gee+zuhairah+farhana2+zafirah+rahimah+arif+
kawthar+farika+ dollah+ucop+ rashid+liyana+aiman+razman+
shafie+shikin+hanis+ izyan(smuge rohmu d'cucuri rahmat)+ aishah+
fikri+udin+bajan+acap+izlan+syafiq+erna+yan+maisarah+
w.n.syuhada+adibah+hani+hafiz etc.
*de wmai agi snanye..2 those yg name akuh t'missed i'm so sowi k..

::SuhadanuaR::

secawan coffee..

2009-01-24T23:18:00.004+08:00

urm,
dunno where o how 2 begin,
i'm losing words..

secawan coffee yg d'bancuh dgn gula 2 sdp,
tp mayb coffee 2 leh jd pahit if ratio x kne kn?
kdg2 t'kurang creamer,
kdg2 t'lbey air,
tp kdg2 ble kte obses gn coffee 2..
ble kte yakin coffee 2 yg kte ske..
ble kte yakin coffee 2 penawar utk segale nyew,
pelik cmne pon rse die kte akan cube telan,
sbb it WORTH..

eventhough kte sdar pahit coffee 2 mayb akan tglkn kesan pd diri kte,
tp sampai stu tahap 2 kte tutup mate..n njoy d'taste of the precious hotdrink,
owg keliling kte yg tau how d'hotdrink suppose 2 b done akan bising sket,
kurang creamer coffee kurang lemak,
t'lebey aer coffee jd tawar,
mereka2 yg bg pndgn 2 xb'salah,
they juz care n concern,
they want d'beSh 4u,
thanx 2 every1..

sum of them mayb previously pnah rse sndri coffee yg cm 2,
o sum of them mayb pnh tgk cmne efek dat kind of coffee 2wards others,
so dowg xmau kesan 2 kne kt tuan nyew bdn yg berani mati nk cube minum coffee 2,
kdg2 tuan nyew bnd 2 t'pakse disobey certain principle of making a perfect coffee,
ble spe2 de kt tmpt tuan nyew bdn 2 die akan realize..it WORTH!
kesedapan+kelazatan+keistimewaan coffee 2 mayb b'sifat temporary,
tp more than enuf kot..
more than enuf..

ble kte dh minum coffee yg cmni kn,
kte akan hilang kelayakan utk bg guideline kt owg len on how 2 make a gud coffee,
yup,
hilang kelayakan,
tp xpe ah kot..ntah..hm..
*paras gula kimia dlm coffee 2 tgi ngat kot smpai sume bnd jd xpe,kn?

in making dis kind of coffee mayb akan wt creamer kedai Pak Kassem xlaku,
o mayb akan wt bill yg nk kne byr kt Syabas tgi,
tp..ntah..

ble dri sndri dh tau de side efek ble minum coffee ni,
juz b prepared if one day nti kne msk emergency room 4 non-stop bleeding,
dh jln nih yg kte pilih..kn?

4 now..juz dok tepi tingkap,
drink d'precious hotcoffee,
n feel d'wind blow..

::SuhadanuaR::

pesanan o9..

2009-01-03T22:24:00.009+08:00

1002am,
o1Jan2009,
Permata Chalet,
Pengkalan Balak.

Angin pantai sampaikan lah pesan,
Kepada si dia yang sehingga kini tak ketemuan,
Moga aku tenang dalam penantian,
Moga aku tenang dalam pencarian,
Wahai kekasih hati yang ku dambakan..

Angin pantai sampaikan lah pesan,
Kepada putera hati yang diimpikan,
Bertanya kan tentang rindu yang tak tertahan,
Adakah dirinya merasa apa yang diri ini rasakan?

Angin pantai sampaikan lah pesan,
Kepada alam semesta yang bakal menyaksikan,
Cinta agung yang akan dipertaruhkan,
Agar untuk sekian kalinya tak terhenti di tengah jalan..

Angin pantai sampaikan lah pesan,
Kepada empunya diri ini yang acapkali melakukan kesilapan,
Yang juga acapkali menghadapi kekeliruan,
Dalam membuat keputusan menentukan masa depan,
Moga kesilapan lama tidak berulangan,
Kesilapan yang mampu mengukir seribu kekecewaan..

::SuhadanuaR::

can i tell u dat i mish u?

2008-12-22T01:13:00.003+08:00

it's 1 am in d'morning,
n i'm still awake,
i juz turned off ma tv last few minutes afta watching 'how i met ur mother' n d'most important one..
it's grey's anatomy y'alls~ =]
i juz started being a follower since d'last 3 episodes,
mayb cm soooooooooooo ketinggalan sbb bru nk ske dis show but so wut?huu~
actly i'm not into 'heavy' tv shows y'know,
i dun really like ER,
i used 2 watch it couples of tym..but..dat was it i guess?
until i found grey's anatomy,
i think dat show has all d'elements...i mean d'humor+some facts ere n thr+love issues,
but d'part dat i cant really stand is d'merging of knife+skin..wuhuuu~(eyes close plish!!)
but hey..dr sloan n dr sherpard r kinda hot aren't they? ;p (knife plish~i would like 2 remove ma heart so dat ma heartbeat won't b detected!) ;p

erm,
ble kte sunyi..all d'unwanted feelings unwelcomely come,
kn?
in dis case no one shud b blamed,
except 4 d'heart..kot?
bcuz d'heart is d'only thg dat leads 2 our certain inappropriate behaviors,
ikot kate hati jew pon bahye gk,
pnah x evytym kte plan 2 tell sum1 yg kte mish die kte t'pk d'concequences?
how would he/she react?
is he/she has d'same feelin as we do?
will dat 'i mish u' dat come from us affect him/her?
will it affect u afta u saying it?
how about other ppl who attached 2 him/her?
will it affect their bond?

dat is y bkn sng2 kte leh btau sum1 2 yg kte mish die,
even we mish him/her like no one can eva mish them like we do,
it's kinda painful y'know by keeping d'mish feelin 2 ursef,
rse mcm d'more u keep it d'more u bleed,
but..enuf wif u ursef yg hurt,
dun let others hurt,
u tau saket die cmne rite?
so better jgn biakn owg len saket cm u saket cuz they may not b able 2 handle d'pain as much as u did..rite?

p/s:kata-kata yg paling jujur adalah kata-kata dr hati..tp jgn biar hati kuasai diri..

::suhadanuar::

hati sgt3 t'senyum =]

2008-12-19T11:39:00.003+08:00

tgn sejuk+xleh benti senyum+hati bkn takat b'bunge,siap be'taman agi+tbe2 xselera mkn..equal 2--->Hati Sgt3 T'senyum =]

wee~
result bru jew kuar,
n yup..i'm extremely hepih~
huu~
alhamdulillah ma result waaaaaaay btr than previous sem,
n dis tym i regain ma 1st sem's victory~
wuhuuu~

mayb tol pe yg owg bse ckp,
kdg2 ble kte berade d'atas..kte akan sng leka,
t'lalu selesa,
n utk menyedarkan kte..kte kne t'sungkur dlu,
but in ma case..Dia x biarkn masef t'sungkur twos,
Dia bg peringatan..sket2..nk bg sdar..tp xsdar2 gk..
2nd sem die wt bg t'sadung dlu..ma result kinda drop,
3rd sem xsdar2 gk..die bg luka sket ble dh t'sadung 2..ma result drop agi,
n 4th sem was d'real one..
mmg t'sungkur kaw2 nyew,
jatoh dlm lopak kelalaian sendri,
drown dlm kealpaan sendri,
n during dat sem i admit yg i did looooooooots of mistakes,
ble dh kne cm 2..i go thru lik one by one mistake..analyze stu2,
n hasilnye?
alhamdulillah =]

i'm kinda person yg kne studi ikot mood,
sbb kalo xde mood bce pon xmsk,
2 ah yg i wrongly applied tym 4th sem,
ble nk studi..tbe2 rse xde mood..then g wt movie marathon???
gle x gle ah kn?
2nd thing is..i'm kinda person yg xleh studi in group,
'ko tny akuh jwb..akuh tny ko jwb..akuh explain nih ko igt..ko explain 2 akuh igt..'
dat rarely works on me,
tp ari 2 i tried wif ma fwens.,
sbb bce xleh nk msk dh..pressure n all d'stuff..
n alhamdulillah..sgt2 b'kesan,
xigt byk pon sket ah,
better sumthin than nuthin rite?

hugeeeeeeeeeeeee thanx 2 all ma fwens esp SYERA!
she helped me a lot during d'final exam,
bygkn utk subject event dh stress gle2 nih..g m'nyemak kt blek die..n she read me few chapters,
n sok tym exam kua lak 2 yg die bce kn 2,
Ya Allah..b'syukur sgt2..alhamdulillah~
thanx sgt2 syera..thanx sgt2 =]

ati sgt3 t'senyum ble tgk result smlm =]
(even de owg 2 kate hati 2 xleh b'kate2 apetah agi t'senyum..scientifically..huhu)
ati enih kembali t'senyum afta d'last tym ia tol2 t'senyum,
erm..mayb xsme bnd leh cte kot kn?
sumtyms certain bnd kte kne keep 2 ourselves 4 d'sake of everybody's good,
xcte bkn b'maksud x rse pe2,
kdg2 pe yg kte rse 2 lbey dr pe yg kte leh cte,
tell 2 much pon xbgus sbb kdg2 fakta 2 leh hurt mane2 pihak,
but frankly speaking..d'feelin is beyond everythin =]

p/s:hati yg t'senyum able 2 ease other worries..pnah rse? ;]

::suhadanuar::

ur ex is ur fwen?

2008-12-17T15:01:00.004+08:00

ur ex is ur fwen?
have u eva think of dat?
or u'r involve in one?
do u think it's wrong 2 b fwen wif ur ex?
n wut if ur bf's fwen is one of his ex?
can u live wif dat?

Familiar dialogues;
"dh break 2 dh ah,wtpe nk kwn2 agi.."
"hish!gle pe nk bg bf akuh kwn gn ex die?kalo dowg b'chenta lik cmne?!!"

well,
dh name pon nih tmpt biarhatiberkatakata,
so as 4 me b'kwn gn ex xde slh nyew n letting our partners b'kwn gn ex die pon xde slh,
all u need is GUTS n TRUST!

1st of all meh ckp psl kte sndri yg b'kwn gn ex,
honestly mmg ssh,
obviously kte n die de history,
we both share sweet memories 2gther,
tipu lah xrse pe2 ble ur ex cte psl die nyew current life wif his new gf kn?
n kte xleh nk slhkn die sbb dat's wut fwens do rite?
share stories?
n mayb he hurts as we did if kte cte psl life kte gn our bf..mayb ah kn..o mayb die xrse pe2?
n dat's d'biggest challenge of being fwen wif ur ex,
kdg2 ble die cte psl how sweet they are 2gther..how good he treats her..
again..kte xleh nk blame die sbb die juz nk b'cte+b'kongsi d'excitment..dh kate member?
eventhough it hurts u..sumtyms like hell..but we shud b hepi 4 them rite?
die hepi gn life die,
bt u cant lie when there's a part of urself wondering.."asl die x treat akuh cm 2 ek dlu?"
i used 2 ask 1 of ma ex bout dat y'knw?
n he said,"Ppl change n they gettin matured as d'tym goes by.mayb bnd2 yg lps wt i rse i xmau wt kt owg laen dh.I tau u saket tym kte 2gther dlu bcuz on how i treated u,so i xmau wt owg len rse bnd yg sme.."
uish..x mcm kne panah petir lak rse nyew?huhu~
then i asked him..was i like sum sort of experimantal stuff 4 u?
n his answer xtau ah nk bg sdp ati o wut but it makes sense,
"u..life is all about experiment..u xcube u xkn tau..tol x?"
(wut do u think?make sense rite?)
well..it's all about niat n keyakinan u terhadap diri u sndri snanyew,
if u rse u n die xleh nk b'kwn cuz u'll ruin his@ur rltnshp o u'll hurting ursef by doing it..then dun do it..

now lets talk about ur bf's fwen is his ex,
siyesly ssh gle nk jmpe gf@bf yg leh trime partners dowg wt cm 2,
mane x nyew..cm yg kte sme tau ble dh b'kwn 2 sure akan b'jmpe kn?
ble dh jmpe 2 sure akan b'sembg kn?
ble dh b'sembg 2 xkn ah cte bnd yg skrg jew kn?
sure de ckp psl bnd2 lps..kngn2 lps..tol x?
n sumtyms bnd 2 ah yg akan trigger lik perasaan lme 2,
'sayang' bkn leh ilang in a blink,
sure de cebisan2 yg tgl..tol x?
n sbb 2 ah wmai owg ssh sgt nk trime partner dowg kwn gn ex..

if kte b'ckp tanpe bukti o pglmn..ayat yg sumpah familiar gle akan ke udare,
"ko ckp sng ah weyh bkn ko yg rse~"
urm,
bkn nk bkk pekung d'dada but here's d'truth,
i still bkn gn most of ma ex,
still b'jmpe..b'msg..b'sembg dlm fon,
n yup i admit kdg2 tym sembg 2 de bkk cte psl bnd2 lps,
ala..pglmn idop..
kdg2 2 ble pk lik klaka pon de..huk3~
kdg2 dr bnd 2 yg kte cte 2 ah kte leh analyse slh kte n die pon leh analyse slh die n msing2 improve diri msing2,
n i tell u wut?
it works! =]
think about dis k?
kte gn die start as kwn..
tym couple pon kte b'kwn..
n ble b'kwn 2 of cos ah de bnd yg kte selese gn die yg wt kte nk kwn dgn die..tol x?
cthnyew..u selesa b'sembg gn die,
de yg u dpt from him bout life evytym kowg b'sembg,
so xslh rse nyew if u guys keep in touch..?
tp if nk gain trust partner kowg..introduce ah,
juz like u did 2 other fwens of urs..sure ur lovernk knal gn spe kowg bkwn..

de few cases yg menarik utk d'fikirkn;
1.Dis 2 guys,sowg dh almost 5 yrs 2gther gn his gf n another one almost 2 yrs n both of
them still intouch wif most of their ex.
2.Dis one guy,almost 3@4 yrs on off wif his gf,n within d'off periods he'll involve wif other gal n
he'll leave d'gal everytym his ex wants him back.
3.Dis one gal,his bf forbidden her from intouch wif her ex.so she secretly contact dat guy.
4.Dis one guy,sgt rapat gn dis one gal n they bcum close fwens 4 2yrs plus.he lend his shoulder
4 d'gal evytym dat gal ngadu psl her bf.ble dowg dh break up about 5months,dat guy n d'gal
dcided 2 b 2gther.xsmpai 2 months 2ghtr,dat gal dcide nk break sbb she juz met her ex n then
she realized dat she still in luv wif him..

byk jew case2 yg len yg melibatkn ex nih,
certain2 2 kte x pnh t'pk pon bnd cm 2 leh jd,
from wut i can conclude ere is sme bnd nih b'gantung pd individu 2 sndri,
kte xleh nk kate..kalo jmpe ex mesti dowg akan fall into each other lik..n kalo xjmpe kowg akan kekal smpai ble2,
kowg knal partner kowg msing2 n kowg knal dri kowg sndri,
if kowg rse die jns yg can b trusted+loyal..rse nyew xslh bg dowg b'kwn gn spe2 pon,
kalo bnd nk jd..kowg cntrl mcm mane pon akan jd..
mayb kalo cegah 2 agi bgus kn?
tp if die wt blkg kowg?
which one do u prefer?
agipon nih slh stu cara yg leh prove kn yg dowg tol2 syg kowg n xksh ah b'tape precious nyew kngn dowg gn their ex..dowg still pilih kowg sbb kowg much more precious than anythn else in dis world..tol x?
dat's y kowg kne treat them gud..extremely gud,
sum1yg mmg bgus dh de dpn mate xkn ah dowg nk cri yg len lak..

p/s:len owg len prinsip idop n perspective on everythin.
so sme owg de hak msing2 utk decide wut's besh 4 their lives =]

::suhadanuar::

forgive n forget?

2008-12-12T21:40:00.003+08:00

Pnah x kowg rse kowg sgt syg stu owg nih,
Kowg sgt2 care psl die,
Xksh ah die wt pe2 pon kowg stil leh terime die,
Even die sesuka ati nk diam xcontact kowg 4 quite a long time n then sesuke ati die nk contact kowg lik then cte prob die,
And tym 2 kowg still akan jd p'dgr yg setia,
Kowg xmau die 'saket' sowg2,
Cian kt die..
Tp afta dat die wt lik,
N kdg2 2 die wt sumthin yg wt kowg rse die x respect kowg,
But then kowg xleh nk mara lme2,
xtau npe..
Byk kali lak 2 wt cm 2,
Mayb sbb syg kot kn?

Tp owg kate wt baek 2 de limit die,
Mayb dh smpai stu tahap nih yg kowg akan rse..I HAD ENOUGH OF U!
So kowg pon rse g mampos ah die gn life die!

Tp..
Sure kowg still wondering kn?
Cmne life die skrg?
Pe yg die wt now nih?
Prob die yg die bse ngadu dlu 2 cmne now nih?
Sehat x die?
Die hepi x?
Kn?kn?kn?
N kdg2 2 kowg rse kowg mish sgt2 kt die..

Bodo kn?
Marah2..tp windu,
Marah2..tp stil concern,
Gle nyew bodo,
Tp..
Ntah ah..

Die dh melampau sgt rsenyew,
Npe die xleh nk appreciate pe yg kowg pnh wt kt die?
Of course ah kowg x mntk lebey,
Enough with die show sum respect,
Tp..?
N b'cuz of dat..rltnshp yg b'taon2 2 putus cm 2 jew,
Syg kn?

Tp patot ke kowg nk lupe kn n maafkn...lagi?
Is it all about ego?
Or kowg rse kowg x sgup dh nk d'pijak2?
Erm?

::suhadanuar::

Langkah Pertama..

2008-12-11T20:55:00.000+08:00

Erm,
2008..
Another year that will reach an end,
Dh nk nmpk dh kelibat 2009,
huhu~
Rse cm jap sgt kn?
And I think it's tym 4 me 2 begin ma 1st step,
Langkah pertama yg m'biarkan hati berkata-kata dgn sepenuhnyew,
And of course here n there akan nmpk a bit jiwunk n wut so eva,
but hey?
Ask ursef,
Each and evyone of us must have 'another self',
kn? =]

Let's sum up evythin that i've been thru all dis year,
From family+fwenships+relationships+studies+masef,
Urm..xsume menarik rsenyew,
T'lampau byk bnd yg jd smpai at one point rse cm xmau idop dh,
Yup,
Here n there yg contribute 2 much on the wounded heart,
xkire ah luka lame ke..luka baru ke..still...saket..hmm...
Kdg2 diri sndri yg cri nahas,
Luka lame 2 dh nk ok,
Then gn sesuke ati nyew g cri pisau lipat g toreh2 balek,
Bodoh kn?
Tp kdg2 certain bnd 2 worth-suffer,
Yeke?
huhu~
Tp tym saket 2 mmg xhengat ah,
Tym 2 ah nk kne ssh kn owg len dgr cte ati yg kdg2 2 ntah pe2.
And bcuz of stuff like dis..i luv telling masef dat "ma life is sux!i hate masef!"

Talkin about sux life n stuff,
I've a fwen dat luvs 2 ask me n ma other fwens dis question..
"If kowg d'bg stu pluang utk balek ke stu mse lampau kowg n start ur life all over again fom dat particular tym..which tym would dat b?"
As far as i rmbr..ma 1st asnwr is i wanna proceed wif wut i've rite now,
D'2nd tym she asked i cant really rmbr wut's ma asnwr was,
but now i thk i know..
Rse nk start Form1 kot,
Yup!
Form1~
I realized dat i've changed a lot n i hate those changes,
Siyesly!
I screwed up few tyms,
And i wish there's ere n thr yg i nk fix,

Erm..skula menengah is mse nk start knal dunia rsenyew,
I met few ppl..i tried nu stuff,
If nk timbg wut i did rite n wut i did wrong tym skula dlu rsenyew berat kt wut i did wrong kot,
Kdg2 t'pk..asl ah bodo ngat g wt bnd2 cm 2?
Nak kate nyesal pon de..hmm..
Tp ble pk lik..bnd2 yg slh 2 ah yg guide me 2 do thgs rite now nih,
But de certain2 bnd 2 still gn bodo nyew wt smpai skrg,
waaa~
Ble nk pandai2 nih~
huhu~

No matter wut it is i've 2 face d'fact dat there's no such thg nk turn back tym n wut so eva,
Pe yg de now nih i've 2 proceed,
Kne tanggung sndri concequences of ma own actions..hm..
And at d'end kte akan sedar stu bnd,
Yg family n fwens sgt2 pntg in helping us going thru dis challenging a.k.a sux life~
wuwu~
Tenkiu sgt 2 kwn2 n fams =]

So,
counting d'dayhs 2 2009~
hopin 4 d'very beSh ;]

::suhadanuar::